1/10
More Trash from Illumination Entertainment
8 May 2017
Warning: Spoilers
"The Secret Life of Pets" is a movie from the film studio Illumination Entertainment, whose biggest claim to fame has been the creations of the abominable minions from "Despicable Me." When little yellow creatures that speak gibberish are your studio's biggest highlight, it's no wonder their film turned out like this.

"The Secret Life of Pets" is essentially all three "Toy Story" movies rolled into one movie with three separate plot lines. The first movie about two rival toys who earn to respect and work with each other is given to the main characters of Max (Louis C.K.) and Duke (Eric Stonestreet). The second movie, where it focuses on all of the secondary characters from the first movie on a mission to save Woody, is showcased with the character Gidget (Jenny Slate) rounding up pets to look for Max and Duke. The antagonist of the movie, a white bunny named Snowball (Kevin Hart) has the same character and motivation as Lots-o-Huggin bear from "Toy Story 3."

With no original story elements, you'd think there would be an attempt to make the characters likable and engaging to watch, but no. Max and Duke start out as unlikable, and only become likable when they inexplicably begin working together. It makes sense that in one scene they would set aside their differences, but after that there is no reason for them to be working together. Then, they suddenly like each other without any reason to. Gidget is no better, as she dumbly trusts a hawk (Albert Brooks) who was clearly making threats to eat her, but the story must go on. Snowball sums up these idiotic and lazy character moments in one scene where, after trying to kill Max, says, "We need to work together now," and then everything is suddenly put behind them.

Character stupidity is a big propeller of the plot, but pure coincidence is too. Almost no story elements feel like they organically happened, and instead feel contrived or tossed in to make the screenwriter's job easier. Take this for example, New York City is a big place (especially for animals who mostly don't know the city except for what's right outside of their apartments), yet everyone makes their way onto one of New York's bridges for the climax of the movie without having any reason to know that Max and Snowball are there, and thus giving them reason to be there.

To put it in simple terms, this movie is lazy with its characters, uninspired with its story, and unfunny with its comedy. The only thing I can really say in its defense is that the story could at least be followed.
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