6/10
A 1930s Mash-Up Musical
18 April 2017
To call "Artists & Models" a musical would be a stretch. It's more like a mash-up of various odd musical numbers that occasionally stops for a plot.

The plot (what there is of it) involves Jack Benny as an advertising executive, trying to land a million-dollar ad buy with playboy millionaire Richard Arlen. Benny promises Arlen that the queen of the upcoming Artists & Models Ball – for which Benny is the chairman – will serve as the model in a magazine ad campaign for Arlen's silverware company. But Arlen insists his new model must be a high-society girl.

Ida Lupino, one of Benny's models, follows Arlen down to Miami, where she poses as a high-society girl, while wearing the fancy clothes borrowed from her modeling jobs. She tries to trick him into selecting her as the model for his silverware ad campaign – but of course, they end up falling in love. (There's a scene where Lupino and Arlen are standing together on the diving board of a hotel's indoor swimming pool. She's wearing a fancy dress, and he's wearing a tuxedo. Can you guess what happens next?)

The plot is a thin "clothesline" on which they've hung the most bizarre train-wreck of musical numbers ever jumbled together in a movie. We get "hillbilly" comedienne Judy Canova singing a bubble bath number. Later, she joins Ben Blue for a slip-sliding, "punch-your-sweetheart" song-&- dance. Still later, Judy joins her siblings, Anne and Zeke Canova, to sing a straight-faced version of "The Ballad of Jesse James," complete with yodeling, right in the middle of the high-society Artists & Models Ball.

There's a marionette number in which, for no discernible reason, Ben Blue dances on stage with marionette dancing girls, and a Big Band number featuring a pair of Art Deco swimmers doing a water ballet in a swimming pool. When things start getting dull, the Yacht Club Boys come charging in with a chaotic musical number, or a gypsy dance troupe, or a melee of circus performers.

The best musical number in the movie is also the most problematic. The finale, "Public Melody #1," features Martha Raye in bad blackface makeup, singing on a Harlem street with an all-black dance chorus, while Louis Armstrong plays his horn. The song itself is good, and Martha Raye's performance of it is great – but the staging of it by Vincente Minelli is dated and offensive by today's standards. (If they'd gotten somebody like Lena Horne to sing it, there wouldn't have been a problem.)

But who cares if the movie is just a mash-up? It's still fun to watch. It crams all these crappy musical numbers into 97 minutes, and keeps the numbers coming along quickly, without stopping too long for the plot. I actually enjoyed watching it, and I never found it boring or annoying, as I have with some other 1930s Hollywood musicals (i.e. the "Gold Digger" or "Big Broadcast" musicals).
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