5/10
Isle of the Dead
20 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Joey Lawrence (Blossom) and Maryse Mizanin (pro wrestler, Miz's wife) lead Navy Seals into an island to find a doctor left there for 10 years. DC Douglas is that scientist working on a serum to counteract a zombie virus that stemmed (supposedly) from his colleague's (Eric St. John) tinkering with science resulting in the undead spreading throughout the island.

There's all the machine gun fire into the heads of zombies violence in the recognized style of the Asylum productions (very much in the vein of Z-Nation) you come to expect. The "anomalies" zombies are a frightening bunch (good make-up work and the way they shoot them is damned effective; their noise and rabid, unhinged behavior, barely locked away in a room, sets up a foreknowing of what could lie in wait for the heroes), but the combat at the end when Mizanin and Douglas (it is revealed they are daughter and father) duke it out with zombies led by Douglas' rival St. John is just too much…that and I swear one of the sound effects when Mizanin stabs a zombie head makes a chocolate syrup bottle squirt sound! Lawrence is all business and never allows the film to upend his serious take on the character and his mission. There's this bomb that will detonate giving the soldiers only so much time to find Douglas and his work and get the hell off the island. Mizanin is dead set on retrieving information and serum so that her father's work was not in vain and would benefit her superiors. Maryse is French and so her character was written as a scientist included in the group of soldiers, accompanying them in the sole purpose of finding that information important to the military, responsible for the base on the island to begin with. Maryse gets to go all "undead badass" at the end which made the film rather laughable yet charming at the same time. There's this one scene I really liked involving Douglas showing the soldiers some of his "pets", zombies he had encased in cages for constant study…one of the zombies had bulging pores and this mutated, diseased face just peering maniacally at them from behind the glass.

Douglas never should have been trusted, yet the film turns him, oddly, into a sort of hero when battling St. John (mainly because Maryse is badly injured by him) at the end. His twitchy and aggressive behavior is never trustworthy, and when he's told he will be divorced or distanced from the location of his work (and the thought of his work being "stolen", altered, and credited to others), the others should have realized that he was dangerous…ummm, and when he turns out to be a zombie, only humanized by a serum which wears off eventually, that might have been a definite sign that he was a peril to them all. Not to let the bugs get left out, some crawl into (and under) the skin of a soldier and eat him inside out (coming out of his eye even!). Zombies eat, too…can't leave that out, right?
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