classicsoncall Review of The King of Marvin Gardens

The King of Marvin Gardens (1972)

"Nobody down here got any pageantry at all anymore".

[6/10 · 11 August 2016]

I don't think I've ever seen a duller movie with so many big names in it before. Interminable scenes between characters get so bogged down one forgets what they were talking about in the first place. Virtually any 'B' Western has more energy than this film, even if it's endless horse chases or bunkhouse brawls. I must admit, Jack Nicholson's opening scene with the grandfather/fish story was a pretty good hook to bring the viewer into the picture, but it sure went downhill from there. When it was revealed that the monologue was actually part of David Staebler's 'Et Cetera' radio program, I immediately wondered whether he'd get a visit from authorities investigating what sounded like his grandfather's homicide. Yeah, I know, his grandfather survived, but one wonders if he would have committed suicide if forced to watch this movie. Quite honestly, the one spark of retro delight I got out of the picture was catching that huge 'Tan Hawaiian Tanya' billboard early in the story. As for the rest, I'll go with Dave's own recommendation to his radio partner - "Edit all that out, Frank".