4/10
Such high hopes ...
18 June 2016
This was the X-Men movie I was waiting for. Apocalypse has always been my favorite X-Men villain. I've been waiting to see them do one with this Xavier and Magneto, but introducing the real X-Men team (namely Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, Nightcrawler, Archangel and Psyclocke among others). This one looked epic. Xavier with his signature bald head, a real powerful villain like Apocalypse. They had rebooted the time-line so they could really do it right. It looked like everything was falling into place for the perfect X-Men movie. So where did it all go wrong?

Was it just that Apocalypse makes a bad cinematic villain? He was always my favorite ever since I was 8 years old and I first started reading X-Men comics. Maybe he just doesn't fit into the Singer universe. I admit he may be the most "cartoon evil" of the x-men villains. And some argue he's way too overpowered. But he's also really interesting. Being the first mutant, he's very old. His Darwinist philosophy takes Magneto's Malcolm Xish ultra leftism to such an extreme that it becomes ultra right. This is why you would never see Magneto join with Apocalypse. It's horseshoe theory at its finest. Singer missed an opportunity with that. I don't think he really understood Apocalypse. As soon as he learned all there was about modern humanity by touching the TV I knew I was in for a rough two hours.

But I don't think Apocalypse was the primary problem. There were many issues I had with this film. It really seemed like they tried to squeeze too much in to please everyone. Too many characters especially. The sad thing was that these were the characters I was waiting for. Cyclops was always a favorite of mine and none of the films (or cartoons for that matter) had done his character justice. I was really hoping that maybe this time they'd finally get him right. And while I admit they did do a better job with him than before, he's still not the Cyclops I know and love from the comics. Making him the younger brother of Alex was their first mistake. And making it that his powers originated one day in high school and not in a plane crash was their second. Cyclops is a mutant born of tragedy. There's a reason he's so haunted.

Psylocke was the worst of all. She looked good, but she was basically just a costume with a psychic sword. No character to her at all. And what was with Archangel? I don't know who that metalhead was, but that was not Warren Worthington III. It's as if Singer didn't know the characters' histories, just how they looked on the covers to the comics.

The other characters weren't as bad, but still off. Storm was acted well but seemed way out of character. Nightcrawler was overpowered, but okay. And I don't want to get into too much detail without spoiling anything, but suffice it to say if they're going to retry the Phoenix saga and this time get it right, I think they already messed it up in this film because, once again, Brian Singer doesn't understand where the Phoenix power comes from.

But I can forgive them for changing the characters as long as they manage to still make a good film. But I still can't get behind it. Why? Well one more thing that bothered me was how no one aged in the 20 years since First Class. They could have at least put some gray in their hair. They could have had Professor X go bald naturally. Instead he goes bald because of some weird scifi reason that's never explained or even acknowledged. It just seemed like a very minimal amount of effort was put into details like that. Jennifer Lawrence rarely wore her blue skin. Beast rarely ever was Beast. It just felt like they didn't care all that much. Things like that I can't forgive.

All the negativity aside, there were some good moments to this film. I really liked the Quicksilver scene. Fassbender and McAvoy had great performances as usual, even given the weak script. There were also some great scenes with the younger X-Men. It reminded me how great it would be to have an X-Men TV show centered around the school. And Apocalypse, though they didn't get him right, still makes for a cool villain regardless. I enjoyed parts of this film. But overall ... not good. I think the main reason was stated in my first paragraph. The bar was set way too high. First Class and Days of Future Passed were great movies and they were setting us up for the X-Men film we all were waiting for. And ultimately, they couldn't deliver it. It was a huge letdown.

With the right planning, an Apocalypse film could have worked. Marvel Studios could have pulled it off. But Marvel Studios knows their heroes. They may take liberties with the plot, but they stay true to the characters. A villain like Apocalypse is something you build up to. And a team like the X-Men has as rich a history as the Avengers and requires just as much build up and planning. This is why the Deadpool film was so good. It focused on one character while introducing only a few other X-Men. You can't introduce too many new X-Men at once. You need to introduce them slowly in separate films, THEN bring them together in one big one. Marvel Studios knows how to make a superhero team movie, Brian Singer, take note. If you try to throw it all at us at once, you get a film like this, or like X-Men United.

The best line in the film was one Jean Grey said while the younger X-Men were walking out of Return of the Jedi "The third one's always the worst". How sad but true.
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