Review of Shaandaar

Shaandaar (2015)
1/10
Aila! ♦ Grade F
23 October 2015
This film proves that Bollywood has run out of ideas.

Jagjinder Joginder (Shahid Kapoor) is a handsome wedding planner with a pack of wet sawdust for brain, hired by an over-smart, unknown queen for her granddaughter's union with a shirtless jackass. The sweet-toothed bride's sister is Alia (Alia "Aila" Bhatt), an insomniac, out of the world princess whose mysterious absence of lineage is the only source of pride in her as she goes swimming at 4 in the morning and collects her father's animated dreams to stay alive. That Alia has finally found her prince in Jagjinder and would like him to make love to her while she tries to dream a dream munching on a banana is what forms a small part of the rest of the story. The remaining, bigger part is taken by Pankaj Kapur's idiocy, Sanjay Kapoor's ugly tomfoolery, and the writers's butterfly-infested vomit.

The film is basically a fairytale romance with ounces of unnecessary animation all over the place. Glittery butterflies coming out of Alia's dress and making Jagjinder throw away his cigarette, impulsive doses of songs because as it turns out both the central characters of the film cannot sleep at night, and blatant melodrama that is worse than Star Plus soaps - the film is filled with fillers like these.

Then there is a cameo by Karan Johar, and I was done for the day. I don't understand why talented actors like Shahid Kapoor and veterans like his father would sign a project which introduces the characters using ugly cartoons. Ridiculous jokes, mindless slapstick, and a shade of black-and-white fairytale is what all the film is about. Not one character is a real deal, and if we had with us Holden from J D Salinger's classic book "The Catcher in the Rye," he would only have one word collectively to describe the film and its tons of characters: PHONEY.

BOTTOM LINE: Do yourself a favor and skip Vikas Bahl's epic fail, Shaandaar, because in here, the characters stay awake so that we can catch some shuteye. The trailer is misleading; don't fall for it.

GRADE: F

Can be watched with a typical Indian family? YES (But, do you really want to?)
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