So, yeah - even after watching the trailer, and solving the mystery of ''BURRRRRGER SHOES,' I still decided to go through with 'The Drownsman.' I mean, I love horror films, even the bad ones - but it's the horror films that serve no purpose, that really bother me. By serving a purpose, I mean - if a film sucks enough, like 'Troll 2,' you still have a few laughs - or if you're lucky enough to find a good horror film, well, the purpose is quite obvious. Which category does 'The Drownsman' fall under?
Neither. 'The Drownsman' is one of the most worthless horror films I've seen all year. The acting is your typical slasher style - Attractive women, who failed drama class, but will still end up being cast in upcoming horror films. The creature looks like something that came from a public restroom - you know, when you enter a public restroom, and you see the toilet full of crap? Yeah, he looks like that. His dialogue is also something of genius. It took me 20 minutes of research to realize he wasn't saying 'BURRRRRGER SHOES.' I'm not entirely certain what the guy is saying, nor do I really give a damn - but he sounds like he has downs - Hmm, wait a minute, 'The Downsman?'
Random Ramblings of a Madman: While the main character in this stinker suffers from hydrophobia - fear of water, I'm starting to develop a bad case of Crappyassmoviephobia, and 'The Drownsman' really set it off. I was done with this as soon as they started the bathtub séance. One of the more ridiculous scenes in recent memory. I mean, seriously - how does stuff like this get approved? This is the kind of film that Scott Weinberg would label as 'fun.' It's about as much fun as going to Tom Six's house for Thanksgiving dinner.
Neither. 'The Drownsman' is one of the most worthless horror films I've seen all year. The acting is your typical slasher style - Attractive women, who failed drama class, but will still end up being cast in upcoming horror films. The creature looks like something that came from a public restroom - you know, when you enter a public restroom, and you see the toilet full of crap? Yeah, he looks like that. His dialogue is also something of genius. It took me 20 minutes of research to realize he wasn't saying 'BURRRRRGER SHOES.' I'm not entirely certain what the guy is saying, nor do I really give a damn - but he sounds like he has downs - Hmm, wait a minute, 'The Downsman?'
Random Ramblings of a Madman: While the main character in this stinker suffers from hydrophobia - fear of water, I'm starting to develop a bad case of Crappyassmoviephobia, and 'The Drownsman' really set it off. I was done with this as soon as they started the bathtub séance. One of the more ridiculous scenes in recent memory. I mean, seriously - how does stuff like this get approved? This is the kind of film that Scott Weinberg would label as 'fun.' It's about as much fun as going to Tom Six's house for Thanksgiving dinner.