Wholly Moses! (1980)
2/10
Thou Shalt Not Be Funny!
26 July 2015
Basically, 'Life of Brian' but with the story of Jesus swapped out with that of Moses. It tells the unfortunate tale of Herschel, an Israelite born around the same time as Moses, and whom he often crosses paths with over the course of his unlucky life as he goes about under the mistaken assumption of being 'The Chosen One'.

Toothless and mostly void of laughs, 'Wholly Moses' is such a waste of potential. Think the trend of lazy spoofs started with the Wayans? Oh no, even as far back as the 80s, we have a film built almost completely lame wit and even lazier slapstick, and when it tries to have a plot, it's just a nothing more than an excuse to stitch a bunch of different sketches together, all vaguely connected with the Old Testament (for no real reason, we're suddenly in the middle of David and Goliath, and then in Sodom) under a rather tepid 'what-if' telling of the Exodus story. Remember how 'Life of Brian', on top of being inventive and wacky, also discussed and satirized religion and the fanaticism that comes from it? 'Wholly Moses' has absolutely none of that, despite the premise being ripe for it with having a protagonist always conflicting with his faith.

Despite the all star comedy cast, no actor can salvage it, with Moore going through the motions as the lovable dweeb Herschel, while surrounding him in thankless cameo roles are the likes of Madeline Kahn, Dom Deluise, John Ritter and Richard Pryor, but they're on screen so little and the parts are so inconsequential it begs the question of why bother. SNL veteran Gary Weis' direction is lax and in no way tries to replicate the scope of old Biblical epics, draining even more life from the already bland gags. Even the score by Patrick Williams, while taking on an appropriately Egyptian flavour, never aspire to be more than kooky, and again, is a waste of a good musician. It makes me yearn more for John Morris' mastery of parody scores.

Honestly, I just can't think of more to say. 'Waste' really is the best word to sum this up, and the people involved should know and can do better. What could've be 'Brian' by way of Mel Brooks just amounts to a plod with no spine and even less joy. It says something when the little Moses segment from Brooks' 'History of the World' is better than this near two hour film.
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