8/10
Brings with it a telling statement about The Golden Age of Porn
2 July 2015
The first few minutes of The Opening of Misty Beethoven really show what kind of film it is - an adult film with a hardened style, a strong sense of eroticism, and quick-witted dialog at every turn. Within the first five minutes of the film, director Radley Metzger gives us a deliciously cinematic shooting style, largely thanks to the cinematographical work by Robert Rochester, deviating from the low-budget, scuzziness of most of the pornography during this period, several rapid fire quips between actors Jamie Gillis and Constance Money involving the going rate for a handjob, and, finally, a looming sense of eroticism throughout every turn. Despite the very professional presentation, there is never a sex act or genitalia, male or female, far out of frame.

Metzger's renowned contribution to The Golden Age of Porn concerns the titular character (played by Constance Money), a low-rate prostitute, who attracts the attention of the sexologist Dr. Seymour Love (Jamie Gillis). Dr. Love's goal is to turn Misty into an incredible prostitute, training her in giving the best fellatios and sexual experiences so she can tear up the town in a bold new fashion. Dr. Love gives her a series of endurance tests to work with, such as practicing fellatios, equating them to "eating a ripe mango." her ultimate challenge, however, is to seduce a homosexual, which she winds up doing to a fault, as she begins to fall in love with the soul and desperately wants to make a relationship work despite the obvious divide.

The Opening of Misty Beethoven is a deceptively thoughtful pornographic film and one that really shows what the period of porno chic was really about. The production is uniformly attractive, never succumbing to a seediness that's as ostensibly low as its subject matter and consistently affirming the talent on display and the aesthetic values throughout. This is a very attractively shot film, with loads of attractive locations that add to the visual zest Metzger and Rochester deliver. This film is less a straight-forward pornographic film and more of a film that just so happens to include a great deal of sex.

The film, in addition, features a plethora of sex scenes; as stated, it's almost as if somebody's genitals or a couple engaged in intercourse are always lurking around the corner. Few frames of The Opening of Misty Beethoven lack some sort of nudity or sex, so Metzger never gets too wrapped up in the aesthetics of his production that he ultimately forgets to deliver what we came for. Money's Misty is an instantly likable character, basking in her own instance while she continues to desecrate it with nearly every move and decision she makes. Paired with Gillis, a likable screen presence, she shines through and her abilities to inspire arousal and recognition of talent are simultaneously in effect.

While the quick-wittedness of screenwriter Jake Barns' dialog is discernible, The Opening of Misty Beethoven does lack the kind of contagious humor of Deep Throat and Debbie Does Dallas, in addition to not being as consistently erotic as Taboo. Yet, there is also a discernible amount of subversiveness on display here with the way the film presents itself, affirming its classiness while including numerous sexual acts. This film proves, if nothing else, that a film from The Golden Age of Porn can be just as presentable and respectable as any film made by Hollywood during that same era. Behind the Green Door might have been more subversive, but the overall effect in terms of its content, at least on me, was lukewarm. The Opening of Misty Beethoven, however, is the real deal.

Starring: Constance Money and Jamie Gillis. Directed by: Radley MEtzger.
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