Rescue Team (1983)
3/10
The Viewers Need a Rescue Team!
18 June 2015
If you are familiar with Silver Star Films, an 80's Filipino production company that churned out Z-grade action and Vietnam war- themed films with familiar faces such as Richard Harrison, Romano Kristoff, Don Gordon Bell, Jim Gaines, Mike Cohen, and Mike Monty, you should know what quality to expect from them. As the title suggests, this is another men-on-a-mission kind of story but very badly written and poorly directed to the point that it becomes embarrassing to watch.

Richard Harrison plays Burton, an alcoholic CIA-agent-turned mercenary who is hired by the Agency (as they think he is still the best!) to lead a dumb squad of five mercenaries (though the on screen texts tell us that they are experts in various combat techniques) and rescue Coleman (Mike Monty) an American soldier held captive for 12 years in one of the P. O. W. Camps deep in the Vietnamese jungles. What makes the film unwatchable is the gratuitous scenes and dialogues. Some scenes are inserted just to pad out the run time, which is just shy of 82 minutes. Then there is the dialogue - utterly profane, for no reason, or downright dumb:

Burton: God I wish I had a drink. It's been a year since I've been gone without one. Woman: Why do you drink? Burton: You really wanna know? Well, you see sometimes I get very, very thirsty. Understand?

That should give you an idea of the inane dialogue you are forced to hear, among others that are even worse. Not to mention having to witness the ridiculous scenes themselves.

I don't mind watching a so-bad-it's-good kind of film, but this doesn't even belong there. If there is anyone who needs a rescue team, it's obviously not Coleman the P. O. W., it's the poor viewer like me who dared see it and has to experience the post-viewing syndrome of a bad movie.
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