Ed Wood (1994)
9/10
The Most Important Message In All Film
14 June 2015
I already knew much about the man, having seen Plan 9 from Outer Space, and Bride of the Monster, albeit on MST3K. Back then, I was fascinated by these terrible movies, which seemed to have a lot more fun in them than the "good ones" of the time period, some of which, however acclaimed, I do not care about. I didn't know about Wood's passions, his history, his relationships, and I could think of no better vassal than this film.

Criminally ignored at the Box Office, despite the consolation of Critical Acclaim, and the first Oscar ever given to someone portraying a real life movie star, this is one of the films that runs the full kaleidoscope of human emotion, not the least of which is heart. Ed Wood lived to be a joke, and his inept films are a demonstration for that, though it is never cruel in the slightest towards him. Depp, in a performance that eats Jack Sparrow for breakfast, radiates a passion for his work that anyone who likes films can grasp instantly. He idolises his film stars, has posters in his ramshackle apartment, and talks about them all the time at worm. Added to this is Wood's battles with the studio system, wherein we now have an actual reason to root for him, whereas other movies would throw an obstacle at the protagonist without the audience given time or reason to like him. It may be cliché, but look at Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars Prequels. We don't care about him, so why should we care about his situation. Wood is the underdog, screwed over by the Hollywood system. Yet they have a point. He is fantastically terrible. And that is the main victory of the film. Despite knowing that he's crap, we still want to see the producers hand him money to make his dreams come true, despite it being a Box Office bomb in the making. Most other pictures would have had us rooting for the producers in that case, but here we root for the doomed path. His Reaganite optimism is a breath of fresh air in an industry dominated by the bottom line. You'd wish you could be friends with this guy, talking about your favourite movies together, going to the bar, and of course, the cinema.

I can go no further but talk about Landau's Lugosi, which thankfully was fully rewarded with an Oscar. Lugosi is the number 2 character in the film. Once top of the world, in Dracula, The Black Cat, The Raven, he's a morphine addict waiting for death. Wood is the precursor of Lugosi's arc, who gives meaning to his life, racked by debt, divorce, and addiction. While this could be the recipe for sentimentalism, we are thankfully spared that, and given a tour-de-force in comedy. Swearing is so much funnier with his Hungarian accent, especially when he gets perverted. "If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see Dracula heh heh." A recurring joke has that no one realises Lugosi is even alive, and certainly that Karloff is his superior, whom Lugosi doesn't seem at all bitter to. "**** YOU!!! KARLOFF DOESN'T DESERVE TO SMELL MY ****!!!" His relationship with Wood is the core of the film. Lugosi is given a reason for life in his dying days, and this gives his character meaning. It was based on Burton's own relationship with the sickly Vincent Price.

Then there is the humour, which was inevitable given Wood's ineptness, and it shows:

A Monster Octopus has no motor, and the actors have to move the legs themselves

An actor in a police get-up scratches his face with the business end of a revolver while his finger is on the trigger, before falling over and knocking down a wooden gravestone.

Lugosi reads incomprehensible dialogue on the set of Glen or Glenda: "Bevare ze BIG GREEN DRAGON, who sitz on yor DOORstep."

Many others follow, but the best is when Lugosi goes on live television for a skit. I won't dare spoil it.

Wood made decisions that no sane man could have made, but in a Producer's-style twist, he ironically ensured that his films would be remembered forever. Some say Plan 9 is the worst film ever made. This is evidence that they've never watched many films. I could literally name 100 worse films right now. The reason? Wood had a passion that could not be tamed, and that life and energy still translates across the reel.

The main message of the movie is a brilliant, but important one: It doesn't matter how good you are at something. You're not wasting your time if it is what you love.
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