Android Apocalypse (2006 TV Movie)
1/10
This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen.
11 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Best approached with low expectations.

The actress playing Bairstow's character's wife was so wooden, when we met her I had trouble determining if she was meant to be a human being or some kind of android concubine. I wish she had been the latter, as that would have made his hostility to androids actually interesting. But this is not the sort of movie in which a flawed, believable, possibly self-loathing character confronts his inner demons, and in doing so illuminates some facet of the human condition for us.

This is about a mixed ensemble of fair to mediocre actors doing their best to stumble through an awful script, delivering their clunky lines against a backdrop that is at once expensive-looking and yet full of inconsistencies. There is a key action sequence where androids saddle up in shiny new Jeep Renegades from the 1990s to battle each other (and some knife-shooting, levitating drone robots)in a hectic car chase. The use of lighting is "hey look we can do THIS effect too!" more than it is genuinely atmospheric. Overall look is one of daytime television at its worst.

Meanwhile, a Nazi-themed evil genius villain stalks around his neon green illuminated lair, wearing his Count Dracula coat, and shooting the camera a series of laughable looks to make sure we get that he's bad and he's almost ready to hatch his evil plans.

I felt the central relationship between Scott Bairstow's tough guy and Joseph Lawrence's android developing his own humanity was well played, and was pretty much the only good thing about this film. I wish those two gentlemen well in their future endeavours, hopefully they will leave this sort of thing well behind them.
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