1/10
Confusing Formulaic disappointment (spoilers!)
4 August 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Sorry guys, but this film was a horrible disappointment. It's proof that trying to do recipe-based films for children is best only done by Disney.

When the main character "runs away" to Space Camp, it's apparently under the presumption that if he wins the competition (a phony competition, a la the Top Gun trophy in that movie) he'll outfox his mother into letting him go on a real spaceflight to the International Space Station. The parent astonishingly DON'T CALL THE COPS to get the darn kid back when his ruse to fool each parent into thinking he's with the other one. Shades of the Parent Trap.

This is obviously supposed to be a film for kids, but the film DOESN'T SHOW US THE CONSEQUENCES OF CHEATING OR RULE-BREAKING OR JUST PLAIN EVIL. Some consequences are inferred, but not boldly enough to teach lessons to the kids who are engaged in this reckless behavior.

Idiotically, the ISS has a fire on-board and only 3 astronauts can use the ferry Soyuz as a lifeboat. In the middle of that crisis, the MOCR in Houston loses communication with the ISS and Soyuz so communications have to be transferred to...wait for it...Huntsville! Which enables the Space Warriors to save the day from the duplicate MOCR in Huntsville.

I've been watching the U.S. Space Program since 1958, and there were so many times that the jargon was inaccurate or the engineering was inaccurate or the history was inaccurate that I was constantly yelling at my TV screen "What Idiots Wrote This?" Not to mention that the most promising character, the girl pilot, pulls the all-too-familiar female neurotic self-doubt angst at the most critical part of the film. A cliché at best. Horribly unnecessary in an age of women's liberation at worst.

DON'T WATCH THIS FILM IF YOU THINK YOU OR YOUR KIDS WILL LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT THE SPACE PROGRAM.

It was easier for me to suspend my disbelief when I watched Space Chimps. Even with the talking chimps.

My suggestion: studio execs should have a person (or team) familiar with the space program, space flight, and space history review this kind of script before allocating money for this sort of useless rubbish.

Even though it was totally fictional, Space Cowboys is a much more accurate, plausible, and realistic depiction of the U.S. Space Program.

So have your kids watch Space Cowboys instead.
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