Finally! A pirate film even worse than "The Pirate Movie!". Somebody must have spent hours watching every Three Stooges short in an effort to put together this miserably violent supposed comedy that has not one chuckle, chortle or guffaw. When you've got Madeline Kahn, Cheech and Chong, Marty Feldman and John Cleese and can't get one laugh, you know you're in trouble. Add on veterans Peter Boyle, Beryl Reed, James Mason, Susannah York and Peter Cook who seem to be really desperate for work here, given the most humiliating lines and revoltingly sexist gags.
It all concerns a search for abandoned pirate treasure, the map tattooed on the title character's head to the island where it was dropped off. Non-sensical in structure and filled with offensive references to rape, prostitution and decapitation, this is a disaster for all concerned. The most obvious abuse of talent comes with Madeline Kahn who strains for even a grin (although she makes me wonder through her performance how she would have been as "Sweeney Todd's" Mrs. Lovett or "Les Miserables'" Madame Thenardier) and James Mason who ruins any assemblance of dignity reflected by his more than 40 years of film credits with this one bomb.
The bosoms of the ladies of all ages (including the matronly Reid who is defiled by the title character in one tactless scene, fortunately out of view from the camera) are pushed up to the max. Among the few slightly amusing gags (which didn't get laughs, only slight ironic smiles) include a prostitute hidden in an alligator carcass to get aboard Mason's men-only ship, and the reaction to a bratty little girl who gets a well-deserved kick. Other than that, this is a pirate movie that deserves to remain permanently hidden forever in Davey Jones' locker.
It all concerns a search for abandoned pirate treasure, the map tattooed on the title character's head to the island where it was dropped off. Non-sensical in structure and filled with offensive references to rape, prostitution and decapitation, this is a disaster for all concerned. The most obvious abuse of talent comes with Madeline Kahn who strains for even a grin (although she makes me wonder through her performance how she would have been as "Sweeney Todd's" Mrs. Lovett or "Les Miserables'" Madame Thenardier) and James Mason who ruins any assemblance of dignity reflected by his more than 40 years of film credits with this one bomb.
The bosoms of the ladies of all ages (including the matronly Reid who is defiled by the title character in one tactless scene, fortunately out of view from the camera) are pushed up to the max. Among the few slightly amusing gags (which didn't get laughs, only slight ironic smiles) include a prostitute hidden in an alligator carcass to get aboard Mason's men-only ship, and the reaction to a bratty little girl who gets a well-deserved kick. Other than that, this is a pirate movie that deserves to remain permanently hidden forever in Davey Jones' locker.