About half-way through the dreadful Camel Spiders, some way-too-old-to-be students are running for their lives from the non-spider camel spiders through a forest and when they take up shelter in what appears to be a foreclosed home, one pulls out his phone for an absolute perfect picture he took of one of the creatures as they were fleeing.
By this point in the movie, all hope has been lost that any of what you saw was either real, scary, threatening or any kind of lesson for film students – except of what NOT to do. And even after I've given up on the last drop of my suspension of disbelief, when I saw this (see picture) I lost it.
I promise to spend as much time on this review as they did making this movie so I better act quickly as I only have a few minutes to write the rest of this.
From the cartoon opening warning of a oh-so-Syfy creature feature that sets the immediate stage of "PLEASE don't take this movie seriously!" to the terrible job of CGI camel spiders – AND CGI BLOOD that made the 1990 Video Games look high-tech, to the actors who were paid to act like your child's 2nd grade Shakespearean performance of the year, the move poses a simple question: Are you afraid of spiders?
I am. Definitely. Absolutely. Terrified, I am. They gross me out, especially the large and hairy ones. Granted, these aren't real spiders, despite the name – like pineapples, I suppose, and the script reminds us of this, repeatedly. But, since the little-to-way-too-large creatures were so incredibly cartoonish, they were as frightening to me as Misterjaw.
I mean, I get the point of the movie – I wasn't asleep, though that would've been a nice reprieve, but a campy story of stowaway "spiders" from the Middle East to a dying Arizonan town (minus the locations: Arachnophobia anyone?) without any fun, or at least some decent special effects, like the highly superior creature-feature, 2010's Piranha, is just that: damn camp.
It's not worth a watch or barely a mention, even for those who know camel spiders do, in fact, exist, and are deathly afraid of spiders.
By this point in the movie, all hope has been lost that any of what you saw was either real, scary, threatening or any kind of lesson for film students – except of what NOT to do. And even after I've given up on the last drop of my suspension of disbelief, when I saw this (see picture) I lost it.
I promise to spend as much time on this review as they did making this movie so I better act quickly as I only have a few minutes to write the rest of this.
From the cartoon opening warning of a oh-so-Syfy creature feature that sets the immediate stage of "PLEASE don't take this movie seriously!" to the terrible job of CGI camel spiders – AND CGI BLOOD that made the 1990 Video Games look high-tech, to the actors who were paid to act like your child's 2nd grade Shakespearean performance of the year, the move poses a simple question: Are you afraid of spiders?
I am. Definitely. Absolutely. Terrified, I am. They gross me out, especially the large and hairy ones. Granted, these aren't real spiders, despite the name – like pineapples, I suppose, and the script reminds us of this, repeatedly. But, since the little-to-way-too-large creatures were so incredibly cartoonish, they were as frightening to me as Misterjaw.
I mean, I get the point of the movie – I wasn't asleep, though that would've been a nice reprieve, but a campy story of stowaway "spiders" from the Middle East to a dying Arizonan town (minus the locations: Arachnophobia anyone?) without any fun, or at least some decent special effects, like the highly superior creature-feature, 2010's Piranha, is just that: damn camp.
It's not worth a watch or barely a mention, even for those who know camel spiders do, in fact, exist, and are deathly afraid of spiders.