2/10
Mind-numbingly boring
14 January 2013
The plot: A killer storm threatens to destroy the entire eastern seaboard, unless a courageous team can use a secret military project to save everyone.

This is one of the most boring disaster movies that I can remember seeing. In a pastiche of disaster scenarios, the killer storm is blamed on several different causes, including global warming and a near-hit by a meteor. I think there were more, but it was so boring, jumbled, and ridiculous that I was already losing interest.

It wouldn't have been so bad, if there had been any characters that were interesting, but they all seemed like cardboard cutouts of B movie stereotypes. They kept going on about the stupidest, most boring plot elements, as well. Unlike The Core, which was based on infamously bad science, Maximum Velocity really doesn't have anything else in it. I could sit back and enjoy The Core as a "so bad it's good" B movie, but with Maximum Velocity, I was constantly thinking to myself, "How much longer does this movie have to go?"

I eventually bailed on it after 45 minutes. I just couldn't take it any more. If the movie actually gets any better after the midpoint, I'd be amazed, because the first half sure isn't winning any awards (except possibly a Razzie). Normally, I hate giving up on movies, but I couldn't see any reason why I should punish myself with another 45 minutes of boredom.

Don't be fooled by the movie advertising Michael Ironside in a starring role. Maybe if he'd actually been the star, I'd have stuck it out.
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