Hey_Sweden Review of Beware: Children at Play

Beware: Children at Play (1989)

"Maggots eat my flesh, sin eats my soul."

[7/10 · 20 February 2012]

I'm going to give screenwriter Fred Scharkey and cinematographer / director Mik Cribben their props for this frequently funny, terrifically tacky 'n' tasteless entry into the "killer kiddie" genre. You're not going to find a "Children of the Corn" derivation with heavy religious overtones, prominent references to the classic tale "Beowulf", and a big deal made of alliteration anywhere else. Hell, when it features a quote as great as the one used for this summary, you know you're in for a good time if you find this sort of thing endearing to begin with. The story begins in the past when a professor gets his luckless self stuck in a bear trap while on a camping trip with his kid, and loses his mind as he slowly dies. Fast forward ten years and a rural cop, Ross Carr (Rich Hamilton), calls upon a friend of his, John DeWolfe (Michael Robertson), a writer who creates sensational books with titles like "Unexpected Detour", to help in the case of children who are going missing. Cribben is someone you may recognize if you've seen the 1981 slasher "Nightmare", as he had a supporting role in that movie, and he also acts here, as the farmer Isac Braun. He and the other cast members take themselves seriously, although it's guaranteed that that's something that the viewer isn't likely to do. Some of the "acting" is just priceless; local loudmouth Josiah (Lee Kayman) can be used as a prime example, and the dialogue is likewise a total inane hoot, as it features gems like "Those guys would make The Odd Couple look like an identical pair.". Not only is Cribben's little movie fully willing to break a taboo, but it treats its cast of characters as all fair game. Some people watching may find the denouement pretty predictable, but it's quite amusing just the same. It's worth sitting through "Beware! Children at Play" just to get to the hysterical climactic action featuring wholesale slaughter. Some of the low rent gore gags are a riot, especially when one victim is hacked right in half, and the music score courtesy of Hershel Dwellingham may provide laughs as well. It's no surprise Troma would distribute this, and anybody who enjoys Troma's own productions should find this a nice little diversion. Seven out of 10.