Royal Kill (2009)
1/10
Don't waste your life or money on this show
26 December 2010
So my wife goes online and the films rated 4/5 stars on our local rental site, so she sends me out to get it. I wish I'd bothered to read the stars names. If I'd known Eric Roberts was the leading star, I would have never picked it up.

After a confusingly stupid intro that would be an insult to the intelligence of anyone who has read a menu at Wendy's, ten minutes into the movie, we still have no idea what's going on. Other notable points, sometimes the video looks like it's shot with a cheap handycam, the sound is awful when they're inside, the acting is painful...there's basically zero plot, fine, I can deal with it (I knew it was an action movie when I rented it) , I'll fast forward to the action... 5 minutes fast forwarding at 30x speed.. no action... another 2 minutes, finally! an action scene! Back to normal speed, and... what a disappointment. There's no real fight, just some shadowing stuff and then a guy jumps through a candy glass door. Wow... take that Ninja assassin!! 30 seconds later, I'm off the couch and back on my way to the video store to demand a refund or replacement. The rental clerk says, we usually don't do exchanges.. I explain how bad it was to him and that I only watched about 15 minutes before turning it off, so he makes an exception. He says next time just say it's scratched or something. I think to myself, If I'd scratched the DVD, I would have been doing the world a huge favor!!
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