Let me start off by saying that I do not see this article as a movie review: it is simply a warning. Whatever you do, DO NOT watch this movie. It is, in all seriousness, the worst film I have ever seen, and I don't expect it to lose that title any time soon. Don't get me wrong, I didn't go into this film thinking it would be Oscar-worthy by any means, and I can laugh at stupid comedy that pokes fun at horror movies. But this film misses both marks and is simply BAD.
Just how bad is this movie? Let me put it into perspective: it's about a killer turkey who goes on a homicidal rampage because a dog peed on his Indian burial...and it only gets worse from there.
The reasons for this being the atrocious mess that it is are many and obvious, and this article simply does not have enough words to outline them all. I'll touch on what ones I felt personally offended by as a movie critic.
1.) The acting is TERRIBLE. Everything is extremely underacted (an angered hick whisper-yells as he falls to his knees and mourns the turkey-murder of his dog, Blassy. That may have been the best acting in the film.)
2.) NO ONE seems to notice that the turkey is a TURKEY!!! This may be because of the fact that it's only a sock-puppet of a vulture, but still, at least have your cast ACT like it's a turkey. Some examples of their odd ignorance: a man pulls his car over because he thinks the turkey looks sexy...the turkey goes to an unimportant character using the disguise of those nose-mustache-glasses things, and this character thinks it's just a midget...this character turns out to be one of the main character's father. This is relevant because the turkey peels his face off and uses it as a mask...which somehow fools the kids. I don't know, maybe the shift from a 6-foot plump police officer to a 2-foot vulture sock puppet wearing a skin mask isn't as noticeable in person, but it was VERY noticeable on camera.
3.) The turkey's powers (yes, it DOES go there) are some of worst special effects that I've seen. When telling a story about the turkey (because it's a famous camp-side horror tale, don't you know?) it switches to a crap cartoon outline. One of the main characters is ravenously hungry and, surprise surprise, imagines a cartoon roasted turkey, which evaporates as he devours it in one bite. This cartoon turkey (which he ate in one bite) turns out to be THE turkey...with a shotgun...who blows his way out of his belly...all with that character being unaware of this until his stomach is blown out.
4.) Even the creators of this show can see how terrible it is, but they attempt to make up for it by switching to horror comedy. The only problem is, horror comedy requires wit...and clever jokes...both of which this film LACKS. Another sign that they understand its failure of a film is that, unlike the Friday the 13th series, they have decided to skip 6 or 7 even more horrid sequels and skip straight to the space-trash that will be Thankskilling 2. I dread the day that sequel shows up, much as I rue the day I watched this film...but moving on.
There are a multitude of other problems, and I shudder at all the possible things I could write down. But I hope that what I have revealed is enough to convince you that this is NOT a good movie. Trust me, I went into it thinking I could laugh at it's lack of quality...but I couldn't...it skips the laughable phase and goes straight to torturous. Save yourself, stick to movies that involved effort in production.
Just how bad is this movie? Let me put it into perspective: it's about a killer turkey who goes on a homicidal rampage because a dog peed on his Indian burial...and it only gets worse from there.
The reasons for this being the atrocious mess that it is are many and obvious, and this article simply does not have enough words to outline them all. I'll touch on what ones I felt personally offended by as a movie critic.
1.) The acting is TERRIBLE. Everything is extremely underacted (an angered hick whisper-yells as he falls to his knees and mourns the turkey-murder of his dog, Blassy. That may have been the best acting in the film.)
2.) NO ONE seems to notice that the turkey is a TURKEY!!! This may be because of the fact that it's only a sock-puppet of a vulture, but still, at least have your cast ACT like it's a turkey. Some examples of their odd ignorance: a man pulls his car over because he thinks the turkey looks sexy...the turkey goes to an unimportant character using the disguise of those nose-mustache-glasses things, and this character thinks it's just a midget...this character turns out to be one of the main character's father. This is relevant because the turkey peels his face off and uses it as a mask...which somehow fools the kids. I don't know, maybe the shift from a 6-foot plump police officer to a 2-foot vulture sock puppet wearing a skin mask isn't as noticeable in person, but it was VERY noticeable on camera.
3.) The turkey's powers (yes, it DOES go there) are some of worst special effects that I've seen. When telling a story about the turkey (because it's a famous camp-side horror tale, don't you know?) it switches to a crap cartoon outline. One of the main characters is ravenously hungry and, surprise surprise, imagines a cartoon roasted turkey, which evaporates as he devours it in one bite. This cartoon turkey (which he ate in one bite) turns out to be THE turkey...with a shotgun...who blows his way out of his belly...all with that character being unaware of this until his stomach is blown out.
4.) Even the creators of this show can see how terrible it is, but they attempt to make up for it by switching to horror comedy. The only problem is, horror comedy requires wit...and clever jokes...both of which this film LACKS. Another sign that they understand its failure of a film is that, unlike the Friday the 13th series, they have decided to skip 6 or 7 even more horrid sequels and skip straight to the space-trash that will be Thankskilling 2. I dread the day that sequel shows up, much as I rue the day I watched this film...but moving on.
There are a multitude of other problems, and I shudder at all the possible things I could write down. But I hope that what I have revealed is enough to convince you that this is NOT a good movie. Trust me, I went into it thinking I could laugh at it's lack of quality...but I couldn't...it skips the laughable phase and goes straight to torturous. Save yourself, stick to movies that involved effort in production.