Two teenagers break into a sinister and remote funeral parlor because they're bored with playing videogames and because they dared each other to. Hey wow, teenagers still do that sort of stuff? I thought it was a typically dumb act to do for teenagers back in the 1980's, but not in this modern day and age? I can list a dozen of cheesy and inferior old films with that exact same premise, and they were kind of fun and charming, but I never suspected a relatively acclaimed TV-format like "Masters of Horror" would recycle this ancient horror given. "The V- Word" (V standing for vampire, or at least I'm presuming so) is easily the most mediocre installment of the two seasons combined. Not only the plot is extremely mundane, but also Ernest Dickerson's direction is pedestrian, the acting performances are weak and the gore-effects are not at all remarkable. There's a total lack of humor in this episode and even the always reliable Michael Ironside cannot safe the film from utter boredom. He plays a vampire with the intention of "recruiting" the two young boys as children of the night. The only difference between these vampires and good old Bela Lugosi on TV is that eating habits are a lot messier. Bela only left two discrete biting marks whereas these vampires literally tear the necks of their victims wide open. The violence is explicit and nasty, pretty much similar like the "Doom" videogames that the two protagonists are obsessed with, but it's thoroughly unexciting. In fact, the only true positive words I can write in favor of "The V-Word" are all intended for Lynda Boyd. She plays the mother of one of the teenagers and her role is relatively small, but she's one mighty fine looking MILF!
Review of The V Word
