Sorority Row (2009)
1/10
Pretty much by the numbers
6 June 2010
A bunch of unlikable sorority girls pull a stupid prank which accidentally kills one of them (the details are too stupid to get into). Naturally they all dump the body and pledge never to tell anyone. Eight months later, when they're graduating, someone starts sending them text messages with videos of the killing and saying they're going to all die.

Positively insulting redo of "I Know What You Did Last Summer" (which sucked too). The plots are virtually identical with a typically annoying ending when someone who you never suspected is the killer. To be honest the person seems to know things that it would have been impossible for them to know...but I was so bored by then I could have cared less. The plot has the same boring clichés we've all seen--people wander off into the dark alone with no protection; there are ENDLESS stalking scenes; there's the evil rich girl and the sweet one (guess who lives); bloody murders that aren't shocking or interesting; a gratuitous shower sequence to show off nude females and male characters who were hired for their looks and muscular bodies--NOT their acting. The girls are all attractive and might actually have some acting talent but you can't tell by this. I gave up on this movie totally when one of the women is going into the sorority house alone and is warned not to. Her response? She holds up a FLARE GUN and says, "I'm protected" with a straight face! I broke out laughing at that one! This is yet another attempt by Hollywood to revive the slasher film by giving us the same garbage that KILLED the slasher film back in the 1980s! Let's put it this way--the 20 minute or so documentary in the DVD is a hundred times more entertaining than the full movie! Also don't let Carrie Fisher's name being in the credits fool you--she's barely in this. Boring, stupid and pointless.
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