This movie went bad faster than a jug of milk left outside on a summer day in the Sahara Desert. These filmmakers came up with one good idea and then spent the 87 minutes of 10 'til Noon proving they had absolutely NOTHING else to offer. After watching this, I now believe inspiration should not strike some people.
The good idea of this film is that it is about what happens one day to an interconnected group of people between 11:50 AM and Noon. The story is told in 10 minute segments where we see what happened to a different character in that amount of time. The first two segments are okay. They're not great, but they're good enough to keep your interest. Unfortunately, the 67 minutes that follow are awful and get worse as they go along. And when I say awful, I mean crappy 1970s sitcom awful.
The first 10 minutes focuses on Larry Taylor (Rick D. Wasserman). He's a rich man who wakes up to discover Mr. Jay (Alfonso Freeman) and Miss Milch (Jenya Lano) starring at him. They're there to kill Larry. Mr. Jay is one of those hit men who talk like he went to finishing school and then got a philosophy degree. Miss Milch just stands there.
The second 10 minutes focuses on Larry's wife, Becky (Rayne Guest). She's having rough sex in a hotel room with Alan Free (Jason Hamer). Becky seems like the angriest woman in the world, yet Alan still inexplicably cares for her.
The third 10 minutes focuses on Carter and Rush (Daniel Hagen and Dylan Kussman), two surveillance experts who masturbate in front of each other. Do you see what I mean about the story going downhill? Carter and Rush are spying on Becky and Alan for a man named Mr. Duke (Thomas Kopache).
Mr. Duke is the subject of the fourth 10 minute segment as we see him arrange everything that's happened in the movie so far. I will admit there are a few moments in this stretch that are pretty good when Mr. Duke explains his plans to one of his henchmen, thanks mostly to the acting chops of Thomas Kopache. That doesn't change the fact you could cut this entire segment out of the film and it wouldn't affect anything.
The fifth 10 minutes are about Leo (George Williams), the unintentionally buffoonish gangster that is Mr. Duke's boss and the reason why Becky is getting spied on and Larry is getting killed. Leo is more like Al Bundy than Al Capone, right up to having a wife he wants nothing to do with. Sheba (Jennifer Hill) walks around topless most of the time she's on screen and has a really ugly boob job. Whether these filmmakers deliberately cast an actress with a really ugly boob job to make some sort of point about the character of Sheba or if they just wouldn't know an attractive breast if it slapped them in the face, I can't say.
I'll leave the remaining segments of 10 'til Noon to your imagination because, frankly, what you come up with in your own head will be better than what's actually in the movie.
This is also one of those movies that doesn't have an ending. It just stops. When I was watching it and the end credits came up, I thought there HAD to be something more. Well, there was but it was an epilogue that had nothing to do with the nonsensical way the main story finished. The epilogue did include some atrocious acting, making sure you finish the experience of viewing 10 'Til Noon with the worst possible aftertaste.
The truth about 10 'til Noon is that these filmmakers came up with 20 minutes of watchable stuff, added 40 minutes of pointless dreck and another 27 minutes of drivel that made less sense than a dyslexic hamster. They should have just come up with 10 more minutes of decent material, add that to the first 20 minutes of this movie and been happy with a nice film festival entry. Instead they came up with a feature film that sucks. As Dirty Harry said, "A man's got to know his limitations".
The good idea of this film is that it is about what happens one day to an interconnected group of people between 11:50 AM and Noon. The story is told in 10 minute segments where we see what happened to a different character in that amount of time. The first two segments are okay. They're not great, but they're good enough to keep your interest. Unfortunately, the 67 minutes that follow are awful and get worse as they go along. And when I say awful, I mean crappy 1970s sitcom awful.
The first 10 minutes focuses on Larry Taylor (Rick D. Wasserman). He's a rich man who wakes up to discover Mr. Jay (Alfonso Freeman) and Miss Milch (Jenya Lano) starring at him. They're there to kill Larry. Mr. Jay is one of those hit men who talk like he went to finishing school and then got a philosophy degree. Miss Milch just stands there.
The second 10 minutes focuses on Larry's wife, Becky (Rayne Guest). She's having rough sex in a hotel room with Alan Free (Jason Hamer). Becky seems like the angriest woman in the world, yet Alan still inexplicably cares for her.
The third 10 minutes focuses on Carter and Rush (Daniel Hagen and Dylan Kussman), two surveillance experts who masturbate in front of each other. Do you see what I mean about the story going downhill? Carter and Rush are spying on Becky and Alan for a man named Mr. Duke (Thomas Kopache).
Mr. Duke is the subject of the fourth 10 minute segment as we see him arrange everything that's happened in the movie so far. I will admit there are a few moments in this stretch that are pretty good when Mr. Duke explains his plans to one of his henchmen, thanks mostly to the acting chops of Thomas Kopache. That doesn't change the fact you could cut this entire segment out of the film and it wouldn't affect anything.
The fifth 10 minutes are about Leo (George Williams), the unintentionally buffoonish gangster that is Mr. Duke's boss and the reason why Becky is getting spied on and Larry is getting killed. Leo is more like Al Bundy than Al Capone, right up to having a wife he wants nothing to do with. Sheba (Jennifer Hill) walks around topless most of the time she's on screen and has a really ugly boob job. Whether these filmmakers deliberately cast an actress with a really ugly boob job to make some sort of point about the character of Sheba or if they just wouldn't know an attractive breast if it slapped them in the face, I can't say.
I'll leave the remaining segments of 10 'til Noon to your imagination because, frankly, what you come up with in your own head will be better than what's actually in the movie.
This is also one of those movies that doesn't have an ending. It just stops. When I was watching it and the end credits came up, I thought there HAD to be something more. Well, there was but it was an epilogue that had nothing to do with the nonsensical way the main story finished. The epilogue did include some atrocious acting, making sure you finish the experience of viewing 10 'Til Noon with the worst possible aftertaste.
The truth about 10 'til Noon is that these filmmakers came up with 20 minutes of watchable stuff, added 40 minutes of pointless dreck and another 27 minutes of drivel that made less sense than a dyslexic hamster. They should have just come up with 10 more minutes of decent material, add that to the first 20 minutes of this movie and been happy with a nice film festival entry. Instead they came up with a feature film that sucks. As Dirty Harry said, "A man's got to know his limitations".