Review of The Animals

The Animals (1970)
5/10
Alice's Adventures in Arizona
19 January 2010
Warning: Spoilers
It's silly, unbelievable, and morally reprehensible, but I nonetheless thoroughly enjoyed this low budget western. Michele Carey plays Alice, a virginal schoolteacher whose stage coach is seized by a gang of five thugs (including Keenan Wynn and Joe Turkel) who proceed to stake her to the ground, rape her, and ride off in search of fresher pickings. She's rescued by Apache loner Chatto (ethnic everyman Henry Silva), who nurses her back to health and helps track down and kill the scumbags who deflowered her. Meanwhile, a posse of hapless lawmen under the command of Sheriff Pierce (John Anderson, who's very good and has a bit of the William S. Hart about him) are also on her trail, but are always two or three steps behind our hero and heroine. Dick Bakalyan's screenplay has holes large enough to ride a rodeo bull through, but Keith Smith's cinematography is quite handsome and probably would look even better in its original aspect ratio. And let's not overlook Rupert Holmes ballad, There's So Little Time, as performed by the fabulous harmony group Year 2000! A downbeat ending actually improves the proceedings: if you think I Spit On Your Grave could have been improved with some Old West flavor, here's your film.
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