My years of watching Mystery Science Theater 3000, and the slew of B-Movies it brings in it's wrath is far from enough training to be able to properly withstand the slight against God known as Tom's Death. Made by a former compatriot of mine named Alex Alston, Tom's Death brings a new connotation to the following words: pain, terror, fear, bodily harm, and defecation. At some point the future simply using the words "Tom's Death," can replace any of the listed words in everyday speech. To call this atrocity a movie is to insult anyone and everyone who ever enjoyed, worked on, or heard of movies.
The story is non-existent, replacing it instead with a "premise" of having the character die in several ways. Having being offered this idea the "writers" (if one can even call them that) went off and spewed the first bit of phlegm they could muster and threw it on a page. Then having received the submission, Mr. Alston seemed to have discarded them for an even worse idea conjured by the three living brain cells left in his empty chasm of a mind (note: these might also be the same three entities that write the hour and a half of garbage shown on Sunday nights on FOX, usually deemed with the label of Seth McFarlane.)
Then with the "writing" in hand, he seemed to put on an eye patch on both eyes, and shouted out "action!" leaving the people left in front of the camcorder to push through their severe brain-trauma and fail their arms and lips wildly and call it "acting." Thankfully the theatrical version is a scarce half hour, I don't think even the minds of Steven Hawking or Marilyn vos Savant could survive without committing organicide.
This "film" (if it can even be deemed so.) is a crime against humanity, if you thought Hitler was bad, you have not seen Tom's Death. The other reviewer's opinions of this film being like the work of Robert Rodriguez or Quentin Tarantino is laughable. These "people" are likely the constructs of Mr. Alston, or were paid by him to make said comments. In closing, Tom's Death is not meant to be seen by anyone, anywhere, at any time. Amnesty international would lobby against it, and even Dick Chaney would deem it too cruel to be used as a form of torture. This is not a movie, as it is more a spasm filmed and given a label by an intoxicated tapir.
The story is non-existent, replacing it instead with a "premise" of having the character die in several ways. Having being offered this idea the "writers" (if one can even call them that) went off and spewed the first bit of phlegm they could muster and threw it on a page. Then having received the submission, Mr. Alston seemed to have discarded them for an even worse idea conjured by the three living brain cells left in his empty chasm of a mind (note: these might also be the same three entities that write the hour and a half of garbage shown on Sunday nights on FOX, usually deemed with the label of Seth McFarlane.)
Then with the "writing" in hand, he seemed to put on an eye patch on both eyes, and shouted out "action!" leaving the people left in front of the camcorder to push through their severe brain-trauma and fail their arms and lips wildly and call it "acting." Thankfully the theatrical version is a scarce half hour, I don't think even the minds of Steven Hawking or Marilyn vos Savant could survive without committing organicide.
This "film" (if it can even be deemed so.) is a crime against humanity, if you thought Hitler was bad, you have not seen Tom's Death. The other reviewer's opinions of this film being like the work of Robert Rodriguez or Quentin Tarantino is laughable. These "people" are likely the constructs of Mr. Alston, or were paid by him to make said comments. In closing, Tom's Death is not meant to be seen by anyone, anywhere, at any time. Amnesty international would lobby against it, and even Dick Chaney would deem it too cruel to be used as a form of torture. This is not a movie, as it is more a spasm filmed and given a label by an intoxicated tapir.