I loved Shyamalan's Sixth Sense and also thoroughly enjoyed 'The Village' (even though that was panned). But I did not not like Unbreakable or Signs. Shyamalan is like Marmite - you either love his film or you hate it. He polarises opinion even amongst his own fans - of which I was one. I haven't yet seen'The Happening' so I cannot comment, however, I just managed to sit through Lady in the Water. Just.
But where do I even start with this one? If I have to sum it up in one word, it would be 'mess'.
A bedtime story for his kids - the plot (if you can call it that) is preposterous, the characters unbelievable, the premise incredulous and the dialogue atrocious. The direction leaves a lot to be desired and what was the whole point of the movie? There was none.
The basic rundown of the story is this: Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti), a maintenance man at an apartment complex, finds a very strange, scared girl (Bryce Dallas Howard) in the pool one night, and soon he finds out a) her name is 'Story' - what kind of name is that? b) she's called a 'narf' - based on an old tale piecemealed to him by a Chinese tenant c) she needs to leave this place before some weird moss-covered dog creatures called 'scrunts' come after her d) practically all of the tenants at the apartment complex will somehow play a role in her getting safely away on the talons of an giant eagle. I kid you not. That is truly it.
The Narf somehow inspires a guy who is suffering from 'writer's block' to finish his book which will someday inspire a future president of America. This guy is the reason she comes from her own mythical world - and who is this guy? You guessed it - Shyamalan himself in a strange, ego-massaging role as the chosen one. A latter day John the Baptist if you like.
My brain hurts on so many levels writing this review as the film is just complete codswallop. Some examples of my frustration are:
1. When the sea-nymph arrives from the water and spouts her preposterous story - Giamatti immediately believes her and lets her stay in his apartment - semi-naked. Not only that but when Giamatti retells the story to all others - they ALL believe it without question. What?
2. Giamatti then sees the underground home of the nymph beneath the swimming pool - but continues on as if this is a normal everyday occurrence. What? No T.V., no questions?
3. Howard stays in the apartment - naked by the way - and simply stares off into space for 90% of her scenes. She whispers incoherently for the other 10%.
4. Characters appear on screen explaining the story to us - telling us the story instead of allowing the audience to figure it out for themselves. Basic, fundamental flaw of film-making if you ask me. Or maybe it was because the story is ridiculous - and no-one could ever figure it out or be bothered to figure it out.
5. A kid is able to read obscure, prophetic messages from a collection of cereal boxes. I'm serious.
6. The kids father does nothing only crossword puzzles each day.
7. One guy exercises only his right arm.
8. Giamatti must have had blisters on his knuckles after this shoot as he is involved in numerous 'knocking on doors' scenes. After a while - it just turned into a joke.
9. Shyamalan's scene changing and framing were strange to say the least. Downright poor to be truthful about it.
10. The finale - was that it? That's what we sat through 100 minutes for? To say I was disappointed is to say the Pope is Catholic. What a letdown !!
Nothing makes sense about this film - the whole thing is testament to the fact that Disney turned it down. Good call. Shyamalan has made something here that if it wasn't for his previous successes - would be a career-breaker. Utter tosh. Avoid at all costs.
1/10 - only because I cannot bring myself to give a 0/10 rating for a movie.
But where do I even start with this one? If I have to sum it up in one word, it would be 'mess'.
A bedtime story for his kids - the plot (if you can call it that) is preposterous, the characters unbelievable, the premise incredulous and the dialogue atrocious. The direction leaves a lot to be desired and what was the whole point of the movie? There was none.
The basic rundown of the story is this: Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti), a maintenance man at an apartment complex, finds a very strange, scared girl (Bryce Dallas Howard) in the pool one night, and soon he finds out a) her name is 'Story' - what kind of name is that? b) she's called a 'narf' - based on an old tale piecemealed to him by a Chinese tenant c) she needs to leave this place before some weird moss-covered dog creatures called 'scrunts' come after her d) practically all of the tenants at the apartment complex will somehow play a role in her getting safely away on the talons of an giant eagle. I kid you not. That is truly it.
The Narf somehow inspires a guy who is suffering from 'writer's block' to finish his book which will someday inspire a future president of America. This guy is the reason she comes from her own mythical world - and who is this guy? You guessed it - Shyamalan himself in a strange, ego-massaging role as the chosen one. A latter day John the Baptist if you like.
My brain hurts on so many levels writing this review as the film is just complete codswallop. Some examples of my frustration are:
1. When the sea-nymph arrives from the water and spouts her preposterous story - Giamatti immediately believes her and lets her stay in his apartment - semi-naked. Not only that but when Giamatti retells the story to all others - they ALL believe it without question. What?
2. Giamatti then sees the underground home of the nymph beneath the swimming pool - but continues on as if this is a normal everyday occurrence. What? No T.V., no questions?
3. Howard stays in the apartment - naked by the way - and simply stares off into space for 90% of her scenes. She whispers incoherently for the other 10%.
4. Characters appear on screen explaining the story to us - telling us the story instead of allowing the audience to figure it out for themselves. Basic, fundamental flaw of film-making if you ask me. Or maybe it was because the story is ridiculous - and no-one could ever figure it out or be bothered to figure it out.
5. A kid is able to read obscure, prophetic messages from a collection of cereal boxes. I'm serious.
6. The kids father does nothing only crossword puzzles each day.
7. One guy exercises only his right arm.
8. Giamatti must have had blisters on his knuckles after this shoot as he is involved in numerous 'knocking on doors' scenes. After a while - it just turned into a joke.
9. Shyamalan's scene changing and framing were strange to say the least. Downright poor to be truthful about it.
10. The finale - was that it? That's what we sat through 100 minutes for? To say I was disappointed is to say the Pope is Catholic. What a letdown !!
Nothing makes sense about this film - the whole thing is testament to the fact that Disney turned it down. Good call. Shyamalan has made something here that if it wasn't for his previous successes - would be a career-breaker. Utter tosh. Avoid at all costs.
1/10 - only because I cannot bring myself to give a 0/10 rating for a movie.