Update: 5 years later, I still HATE this movie ...
I know it's dated and the Simpsons stopped mattering a long time ago but, Worst ... Movie ... Ever! Seriously, I have logged in here, like twice, maybe 3 times ever, and 2 of those were to expound on how much this movie will rot your brain. Ugh, it is truly that awful ... 5 years later, and the scars have not healed. WORST MOVIE EVER.
Flashback: 1983, my college roommate and I wander off to a midnight movie showing of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." This movie is already old hat as 'so horribly bad, it's good' among those who know, but neither of us have seen it. We shift and squirm in our seats, waiting for the moment that could possibly make this pathetic pile of sh!t worth sitting through ... and then it comes. Wow. High concept to the extreme; a feature length film with one punch line, the giant tomato wearing ear muffs, wow. You know what though? AOTKT has THAT over this steaming pile of cr@p! There is NO high concept here, not even one freaking almost-saving-grace punch line ... nada. It is just painful and stupid and mind-numbing and aarrggh, it makes me shudder to think about it - mommy?
I would rather have a fire hydrant pounded up my behind than be forced to sit through this movie again. Yes, FIVE YEARS later and I still feel that strongly about how terrible this film is! The people responsible should be beyond ashamed. I am dead serious.
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Anyone who says they like this movie is lying ... and possibly getting paid off by the production staff. BTW, who the hell is bankrolling these idiots? How the hell did they manage to get funding for another film after this "makes me want to blow my brains out rather than watch another minute" pile of crap? Not just for another film, but several more? Simply boggles the mind ... they must have a rich uncle willing to waste his fortune funding these buffoons.
Just watched this on SciFi channel this morning ... if I hadn't been so hung-over I might have found the energy to change the channel, but figured it just had to get better ... WRONG! I have never commented here before, but simply felt compelled to after suffering through that viewing ... you want to be afraid, then watch this, but not "afraid" for the reason you'd want. Seriously, I am left trembling with anger and resentment for having watched this, and will probably be emotionally scarred for life after being subjected to this brainless/pointless ... no, that's being too fair, that implies lack of positive value, but does not reinforce just how painfully negative an experience this is ... OMG, this film will make you scared that humanity is capable of producing something so horrible. Last time I felt this way was after visiting the Holocaust Museum in DC ... really, I'm not joking at all ... this movie is disturbing in a "how can anyone who produced this be allowed to live?" kind of way, it is that dehumanizing. Even for the Sci Fi channel, with its notoriously bad low-budget films, this reached an all-time rock-bottom low!
Just in case you're missing my point ... I don't mean "horrible" in a "too much violence/sex/gore" kind of way, cause I'm sure many people out there might find that an enjoyable challenge ... NO, I mean "horrible" in a "this is nothing but a continuous nonsensical stream of cliché movie clips acted by people who could not make the cast of the local repertory production of Cats" kind of way. If you have a brain, you will be confused by the lack of sense behind this movie to such an extent it'll make your nose bleed ... this is not "intelligent" bending of sensibility either, ala Surrealist art ... this ain't no "Andalusian Dog" ... just a dog ... of the flea-bitten, rabid, junkyard variety. It could ALMOST be funny if presented with just a glimmer of self-aware parody, yet clearly the producers/director take this seriously, and that's the final infuriating nail pounded between the eyes! Damn, these guys must've really done some serious drugs to have impaired their sense of reality to the point that they think this has any merit ... it does not. By that I mean it does not have ANY merit ... zero ... there is nothing positive about this movie ... at all.
WORST ... MOVIE ... EVER!
If anyone out there really did like this, then there must be something very wrong with you.
I think the U.N would have to object if Gitmo prisoners were forced to watch this ... that whole "no torture" thing, you know.
Compared to this, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" and "Plan Nine from Outer Space" are high art ... really, it is THAT bad.
I know it's dated and the Simpsons stopped mattering a long time ago but, Worst ... Movie ... Ever! Seriously, I have logged in here, like twice, maybe 3 times ever, and 2 of those were to expound on how much this movie will rot your brain. Ugh, it is truly that awful ... 5 years later, and the scars have not healed. WORST MOVIE EVER.
Flashback: 1983, my college roommate and I wander off to a midnight movie showing of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." This movie is already old hat as 'so horribly bad, it's good' among those who know, but neither of us have seen it. We shift and squirm in our seats, waiting for the moment that could possibly make this pathetic pile of sh!t worth sitting through ... and then it comes. Wow. High concept to the extreme; a feature length film with one punch line, the giant tomato wearing ear muffs, wow. You know what though? AOTKT has THAT over this steaming pile of cr@p! There is NO high concept here, not even one freaking almost-saving-grace punch line ... nada. It is just painful and stupid and mind-numbing and aarrggh, it makes me shudder to think about it - mommy?
I would rather have a fire hydrant pounded up my behind than be forced to sit through this movie again. Yes, FIVE YEARS later and I still feel that strongly about how terrible this film is! The people responsible should be beyond ashamed. I am dead serious.
---
Anyone who says they like this movie is lying ... and possibly getting paid off by the production staff. BTW, who the hell is bankrolling these idiots? How the hell did they manage to get funding for another film after this "makes me want to blow my brains out rather than watch another minute" pile of crap? Not just for another film, but several more? Simply boggles the mind ... they must have a rich uncle willing to waste his fortune funding these buffoons.
Just watched this on SciFi channel this morning ... if I hadn't been so hung-over I might have found the energy to change the channel, but figured it just had to get better ... WRONG! I have never commented here before, but simply felt compelled to after suffering through that viewing ... you want to be afraid, then watch this, but not "afraid" for the reason you'd want. Seriously, I am left trembling with anger and resentment for having watched this, and will probably be emotionally scarred for life after being subjected to this brainless/pointless ... no, that's being too fair, that implies lack of positive value, but does not reinforce just how painfully negative an experience this is ... OMG, this film will make you scared that humanity is capable of producing something so horrible. Last time I felt this way was after visiting the Holocaust Museum in DC ... really, I'm not joking at all ... this movie is disturbing in a "how can anyone who produced this be allowed to live?" kind of way, it is that dehumanizing. Even for the Sci Fi channel, with its notoriously bad low-budget films, this reached an all-time rock-bottom low!
Just in case you're missing my point ... I don't mean "horrible" in a "too much violence/sex/gore" kind of way, cause I'm sure many people out there might find that an enjoyable challenge ... NO, I mean "horrible" in a "this is nothing but a continuous nonsensical stream of cliché movie clips acted by people who could not make the cast of the local repertory production of Cats" kind of way. If you have a brain, you will be confused by the lack of sense behind this movie to such an extent it'll make your nose bleed ... this is not "intelligent" bending of sensibility either, ala Surrealist art ... this ain't no "Andalusian Dog" ... just a dog ... of the flea-bitten, rabid, junkyard variety. It could ALMOST be funny if presented with just a glimmer of self-aware parody, yet clearly the producers/director take this seriously, and that's the final infuriating nail pounded between the eyes! Damn, these guys must've really done some serious drugs to have impaired their sense of reality to the point that they think this has any merit ... it does not. By that I mean it does not have ANY merit ... zero ... there is nothing positive about this movie ... at all.
WORST ... MOVIE ... EVER!
If anyone out there really did like this, then there must be something very wrong with you.
I think the U.N would have to object if Gitmo prisoners were forced to watch this ... that whole "no torture" thing, you know.
Compared to this, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" and "Plan Nine from Outer Space" are high art ... really, it is THAT bad.