Like watching a snake, OPERATION DELTA FORCE 5: RANDOM FIRE is hard to take one's eyes off of. It is just about the worst movie I have ever seen, and I have seen them all, believe me. Yossi Wein, director of OPERATION DELTA FORCE 2 and OCTOPUS 2, crafts yet another masterpiece of incredibly inept film-making. Uwe Boll, bow before the real master of terrible film-making! You know you're in trouble when a movie's title is longer than the preamble to the Constitution and stars a bunch of muscle builders and what may very well be porn actors who often stand way too close for my comfort -- and was shot in South Africa. That last item guarantees you're in for a nightmarish, almost surrealistic ride. This time out, the Delta Force guys are fighting a Middle Eastern bad guy who is shown in such closeup, you wonder if he may have been humping the camera. He manages to snag some of our heroes and brainwash them to perform various terrorist acts against the western world. It's up to what's left of the force to go in and rescue them and get the bad guy. RANDOM FIRE is a no-budget, non-acted extravaganza that was shot on what appears to be maybe two sets. You would almost think you're watching a spoof of battle films. The leads are played by guys with names like Trae Thomas and Gray Lawson, I kid you not. Don't you just love it? Why such "things" (since they are not movies in the traditional sense) get made is beyond me, other than to fill overnight slots on cheap-o cable stations when all the 900 ads are on, or possibly to serve as a tax write off. For lovers of bad movies only. I gave the movie a "2" instead of a "1" because of good old Trae and Gray.
