1/10
A confusing campy masterpiece
10 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I have never read any John Irving, but based on this movie and "Simon Birch", the man is either a jaw-droppingly terrible writer, or he has the worst luck in movie adaptations of any author in history.

This movie lost me in the first five minutes. The plot is impossible to follow without confusion. There are in fact 147 different plots, each more absurd than the last. The most absurd being the campy terrorists whose plot is never explained. Characters die and their family members never seem sad. It's impossible to tell how much time has passed. Characters wander in and out without explanation. The dialog and characters are laughable and totally unbelievable. Even good actors like Jodie Foster are awkward and are always a beat off.

The slapstick attempts at humor made me cringe (to say nothing of the incest.) The gang rape and multiple deaths of family members made me laugh, because I didn't believe in the characters or the situations.

When Jodie Foster's character is raped I was disturbed for a moment. But when her brother and a gang of black students rush to the rescue, and Foster's character makes some crack about "same old Halloween" I laughed. I laughed harder when they bring her home and she just wants to recover from the experience by cuddling with dog...WHO THE FATHER HAS JUST HAS PUT TO SLEEP. The girl is gang raped and her father put the dog to sleep without telling her. This is better than "Degrassi" or other after school specials, and cannot be taken at all seriously.

Perhaps some things were meant to be surreal or blackly humorous, but none of the humor or the surreal impossibility of the many plots seemed intentional.

Perhaps Irving is a good writer, but I wonder after the campy mess of an acid trip of this film and the soppy diabetic mess of "Simon Birch." If you enjoyed "Plan 9 From Outer Space", you should pick this film up. Oh hell, it's a masterpiece that will have you laughing, laughing, cringing, and hitting your pillows and screaming "WHAT THE FCK?!!!"
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