7/10
Goldie walks while bears take the fall in classic fairy tale.
11 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This century old film goes from cute to ugly in no time with its interpretation of the famous fairy tale Goldilocks and the Three Bears as the larcenous Goldie leaves a trail of death and destruction around her.

The film opens with Baby Bear hanging out in the front yard. Something of an obstinate child he is disciplined for being disobedient by Mama and Papa bear before the family sets off for parts unknown. Goldilocks passes by and decides to commit a B&E. She eats their porridge and then looks through a knot hole where she views dancing and spinning stuffed teddy bears. She falls asleep in one of the beds when the Bear family returns to find her. Chasing the intruder from the house Goldi pulls the innocent little girl card and a near bye hunter guns down Mr. and Mrs. Bear. Baby Bear is captured and Goldie is allowed to take the stuffed teddy bears she viewed earlier. As for the orphaned Baby Bear, he's headed to the zoo or worse. From all evidence crime has truly paid off for the bad but cute Goldie.

If the Bear family had been a ferocious lot I might cut the film maker some slack for whacking them, but they're really a personified group of cuddly Chewbaca's not bothering anyone. Goldie is a criminal who ends up with all the marbles. It's as distressing a climax as Chinatown.

What does make the film worthwhile is the superb pixelation done with the stuffed teddy bears. The life the camera breathes into their acrobatics is remarkably smooth for its time and holds up well by even today's standards. I just don't see why they had to gun down Mama and Papa Bear.
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