Underworld (2003)
6/10
Almost campy were it not for the lack of campy dialog
22 December 2007
Warning: Spoilers
(This is a reevaluation of this movie: my revious review was more positive and gave 7 out of 10.)

Underworld was doomed never to be a 'good' movie. What was to be expected? A well written plot? Superb acting? Great dialog? It is simply not that kind of movie. After seeing it more than once I found that this movie get's dull quickly. It is simply a movie that has nothing to special to offer(besides kate that is) and re-uses things we have seen before(and better)in blade and the matrix. You should understand that the problem with this is not re-using things, because few movies actually invent new things. But this movie is beset by continuous re-using things that have been used before. It is like replaying a song over and over again until you get sick and tired of it. The style of this movies is at no point innovative. For sure a nice dark brooding mood pervades everywhere but is ruined most of the time by overusing items of just using strange items. When it is raining everyone unfolds the same black umbrella. Every vampire and werewolf is dressed in the same leather trenchoat. All use the same weapons(G38K) and use the same dumb tactics(running at the enemy firing their weapons). Especially bad is the music. Which yet again use no

Le met tell you first that I found none of the cast really bad except for Bill Nighy. Kate Beckinsale is the corner piece of the movie. She is an attractive woman who does a reasonable job in portraying Selene, a battle-hardened killer vampire driven by her hatred for werewolves. She seems to thaw somewhat when she meets the human Michael(Speedman), but not much, for you can't expect to much from someone who spends the better part of a millennium hunting ferocious monsters to extinction. At no point Selene turns into a steamy lover mainly because that would out of character. I stress this as many critics comment on the bad chemistry between Selene and Michael. But I found Michale Sheen(lucian) and Shane Brolly(craven) much more interesting. In fact probably Brolly is playing the most interesting character of all.

The battle scenes are acceptable. Those with kate are nice because they late her jump and run all over the place. They are well done and varied ranging of every method of 'interaction' one can think of and allowed by the tight budget. In fact is is surprising how much has been accomplished.

While i found underwold a nice movie to watch once, it also saddens me that so much is missing. The movie really suffers from stale dialog and music. The plot has some interesting views on the vampiric and werewolf state but fails to miss the point that vampires and werewolves are predators using humans for subsistence. As far as the movies goes, Selene is only a sexy looking lady with some interesting teeth and eyes, a fling for tight-fitting dark leather clothing, fast cars and the nightlife. In fact the only time we actually see a vampire bite someone is when Selene needs to to safe speedman(you understand when you have seen the movie). The nail on the coffin is however the lack of any spicy dialog and good music. Don't expect any memorably conversation or one liners: there is none, nothing, nada, zipp. And music. It is another soulless mix of heavy metal and eletronics. This is really bad as we all know that you can have a crappy plot and have mediocre acting, but to become camp you absolutely need to have a campy dialog and campy music.

I hope that the third underworld installment scheduled in 2009 will give us the proper dialog and music. Speedman should die horrible in the first scene, making Selene into an bad-dude wise cracking lady who exacts revenge on anyone crossing her path in a bloody horrible way. No further plot needed. Oh and throw in some Nietzsche: he mixes so well with vampires.
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