I'm afraid the time has come for a rant. Out of sheer lack of having something to do, I went and sat through all two hours of Hit-man last week. I left the cinema wishing I'd read the next 100 pages of the frankly dull book that I've been plodding through. But hey, it's far more interesting than the latest, god awful computer game adaptation to hit our screens. Yes, Hit-man was balls. There are worse movies out there, based on computer games but this weak and boring action film is still balls.
You'd think they'd have gotten it right by now. We've been "treated" to three Resident Evils, two Tomb Raiders, a Doom, a Silent Hill, a Street Fighter, a Super Mario Bros .the list goes on. Yet none of them have been any good. Not one. Nada. Zip! It just seems to be a pre-requisite that all movies based on games suck. It must be in the contract of all involved to make these movie so truly awful that they've now become the skid-mark of the film industry.
And now we have Hit-man, which continues this glorious trend. As with all of these films, on paper, it seemed to be cool. For anyone who's played the games, the plot centres around a hit-man by the name of Agent 47, a gun for hire, genetically engineered by a faction of the church. He is mean, heartless and totally ruthless, feeling no guilt or remorse for his actions. He oozes cool (bald head with a bar code slapped on there for good measure) and kinda reminds you of Jean Reno from Leon.
But Leon this most certainly ain't. This is a lazily crafted movie that showcases no real merits of talent. I feel almost sorry for Timothy Olyphant at the titular hit-man of the film. He is usually a fairly consistent actor and quite a joy to watch. Just look at him steal every scene he's in during Doug Liman's Go or as the second of the two killers in Scream 2. But here it seems as though he really can't be bothered, and who can blame him, with direction this sloppy and acting this abysmal?
Lets talk about the direction for a moment shall we? Director Xavier Gens shows very much that this is his first movie. He's cack handed with the action (one sure fire sequence in which Agents 44, 45, 46 and 47 engage in a four way sword fight is p*ssed up the wall), and really has no idea how to pace a movie. There is no build up to anything, it just happens. It feels like a car on it's last legs, stop, start, stop, start. Maybe he should watch the Bourne Ultimatum a few times to see how you create truly awesome action sequences. Either that or stop making movie entirely.
The supporting cast members look truly uncomfortable in front of the camera. How Dougray Scott still manages to get work is beyond me. He is, without a doubt, one of the worst actors working today and here he gives one of the worst performances ever committed to screen. He is truly terrible. Olga Kurylenko, as 47's main love interest, is totally unnecessary. Her only purpose is to walk around naked on the odd occasion in some vain attempt to make the movie that little more interesting. She fails.
I think my one main gripe with this film is that Agent 47's actions seem, well, amateurish. When I imagined a film version I imagined it to be like the opening of Leon, where our protagonist is able to take out ten people covertly and professionally, without anybody really seeing who he is. Instead we get the all guns blazing approach. Not very professional for a man who is supposed to be the top assassin in the world.
It's just a missed opportunity. It could have been greatness or at least a pretty effective action movie. Instead we get a mess of a movie, and insult to the action genre and a bad mark on Timothy Olyphant's consistent and solid CV. The only thing it has going for it is it's not Silent Hill. But then again, it was based on a computer game. What did I expect.
1/5
You'd think they'd have gotten it right by now. We've been "treated" to three Resident Evils, two Tomb Raiders, a Doom, a Silent Hill, a Street Fighter, a Super Mario Bros .the list goes on. Yet none of them have been any good. Not one. Nada. Zip! It just seems to be a pre-requisite that all movies based on games suck. It must be in the contract of all involved to make these movie so truly awful that they've now become the skid-mark of the film industry.
And now we have Hit-man, which continues this glorious trend. As with all of these films, on paper, it seemed to be cool. For anyone who's played the games, the plot centres around a hit-man by the name of Agent 47, a gun for hire, genetically engineered by a faction of the church. He is mean, heartless and totally ruthless, feeling no guilt or remorse for his actions. He oozes cool (bald head with a bar code slapped on there for good measure) and kinda reminds you of Jean Reno from Leon.
But Leon this most certainly ain't. This is a lazily crafted movie that showcases no real merits of talent. I feel almost sorry for Timothy Olyphant at the titular hit-man of the film. He is usually a fairly consistent actor and quite a joy to watch. Just look at him steal every scene he's in during Doug Liman's Go or as the second of the two killers in Scream 2. But here it seems as though he really can't be bothered, and who can blame him, with direction this sloppy and acting this abysmal?
Lets talk about the direction for a moment shall we? Director Xavier Gens shows very much that this is his first movie. He's cack handed with the action (one sure fire sequence in which Agents 44, 45, 46 and 47 engage in a four way sword fight is p*ssed up the wall), and really has no idea how to pace a movie. There is no build up to anything, it just happens. It feels like a car on it's last legs, stop, start, stop, start. Maybe he should watch the Bourne Ultimatum a few times to see how you create truly awesome action sequences. Either that or stop making movie entirely.
The supporting cast members look truly uncomfortable in front of the camera. How Dougray Scott still manages to get work is beyond me. He is, without a doubt, one of the worst actors working today and here he gives one of the worst performances ever committed to screen. He is truly terrible. Olga Kurylenko, as 47's main love interest, is totally unnecessary. Her only purpose is to walk around naked on the odd occasion in some vain attempt to make the movie that little more interesting. She fails.
I think my one main gripe with this film is that Agent 47's actions seem, well, amateurish. When I imagined a film version I imagined it to be like the opening of Leon, where our protagonist is able to take out ten people covertly and professionally, without anybody really seeing who he is. Instead we get the all guns blazing approach. Not very professional for a man who is supposed to be the top assassin in the world.
It's just a missed opportunity. It could have been greatness or at least a pretty effective action movie. Instead we get a mess of a movie, and insult to the action genre and a bad mark on Timothy Olyphant's consistent and solid CV. The only thing it has going for it is it's not Silent Hill. But then again, it was based on a computer game. What did I expect.
1/5