The Thirst (I) (2006)
4/10
Not very good.
3 August 2007
Warning: Spoilers
The Thirst starts as exotic dancer Lisa (Clare Kramer) is taken to hospital after falling ill on stage, she has terminal cancer but hasn't told her boyfriend Maxx (Matt Keesler) although it's not long before he finds out & is slightly annoyed that she didn't tell him. Maxx is depressed, Lisa is depressed & things just aren't looking great. As a potential solution Lisa decides to commit suicide because, you know, that would cheer everyone up wouldn't it? Maxx is understandably upset, he & a couple of his buddies decide to pay a visit to an S&M club called Inferono where he thinks he sees Lisa. Going back the next night he manages to catch up with her & it is indeed Lisa, unfortunately she's now a bloodsucking Vampire who hangs around with other bloodsucking Vampires who kill people. Lisa manages to convince the head Vampire guy Darius (Jeremy Sisto) to spare Maxx & let him become one of them which he does, however being a bloodsucking Vampire isn't as fun as it sounds...

Co-written & directed by Jeremy Kasten this Vampire flick has a fair amount of blood & gore but little else by which to recommend it. The script by Kasten, Ben Lustig, Liz Maccie, Wayne Mahon & Mark A. Altman (it took five people to write this?!?!) is more or less a Near Dark (1987) rip-off although while Near Dark had great character's, acting & writing The Thirst clearly & most definitely doesn't. The plot feels pretty bad & unoriginal, it's not any fun to watch apart from some over-the-top gore scenes & it neither interested me or drew me in to the action. The character's are poor as is the dialogue & there's nothing here we haven't seen dozens of times before. It moves along at a nice enough pace & isn't overly boring but there was just something about it, something dull which meant I just couldn't get into the story or action. I certainly didn't think it was anything special & I think by the end of the week I'd have completely forgotten about it.

Director Kasten does alright but I thought the film lacked energy or any sort of atmosphere & it certainly isn't scary. There are pleasing amounts of gore & the filmmakers use old fashion prosthetic make-up effects rather than CGI computer effects but most of it is pretty much the same with huge sprays of blood coming from people's wounds, there's some guts here as well, someone gets a finger in the side of their head, there are shots of the remains of cats that have been torn to pieces, someone gets a lamp shoved down their throat & several people get their throats ripped out but the blood looks a bit watery & once you have seen one huge spray of arterial blood you've frankly seen them all. There is also a fair amount of nudity & naked female breasts if that sort of thing interests you although none of the actresses are anything special in the looks department.

With a supposed budget of about $2,000,000 The Thirst had a bigger budget than I was expecting & personally I'd have liked to have seen a bit more on screen action for that sort of cash. The acting isn't anything to write home about & the cast aren't that good looking either.

The Thirst is a below average Vampire horror flick, it's OK on a basic level but there's nothing memorable here beside some gory Vampire bite wounds. Worth a watch if your a Vampire junkie or die hard horror fan otherwise there's nothing much here of any worth.
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