Review of Crooked

Crooked (2006)
2/10
Corked...
22 March 2007
Don "The Dragon" Wilson and Olivier Gruner star as two cops who protect a hooker from crooked cops, mobsters and pretty much anonymous goons who killed fellow policeman Fred Williamson. Who killed Fred Williamson? The answer is obvious from the first ten minutes and the movie is deadly dull to watch. One of the saddest things is that Olivier Gruner is actually the only one trying, which is sad because he still is the worst actor on a professional level, still despite his hopelessly inept acting he still comes off better than Don 'The Dragon' Wilson who treats this awful material as if he was straining for Oscar contender quality. It is just a ridiculous performance with a complete lack of knowledge of realizing what type of movie he's in. You're not in the movie Heat, Don. The one bright spot is the hilarious portrayal from Gary Busey, who sparkles on would be zen and optimistic B.S that would feel right at home on a midnight telethon. Plus Busey looks undeniably drunk as if he was forced to go without booze for a couple weeks and his strung out look as well as the atrocious dialog is hilarious. It's the film's only enjoyment. And what of those action sequences? Well I would comment on them if I could actually make sense of what was going on in the fight sequences. Don Wilson and Olivier Gruner have always been at least competent at kicking the crap out of people, but with the awful editing and terrible quick cuts that pretty much distance you from getting into the action, one comes to realize that without even 1/3 of the acting talent of Jean-Claude Van Damme or Dolph Lundgren, it becomes obvious that Don may want to just give up the movies if he can't do the required martial arts to sell the concept that he's a tough guy, since the lacking fan-base isn't going to keep buying if this is all The Dragon can come up with. Crooked is about as bad as Seagal's recent efforts (Well I haven't seen anything past Today You Die...) and with movies like Wake Of Death and Russian Specialist out on the shelves, let alone R rated action flicks making a comeback, there is no excuse for unwatchable crap such as this. I'm hoping Olivier Gruner's next movie will be at least funny. Oh and a tip for Don, after seeing Redemption and this, stay away from Art Camacho. I mean seriously I never saw a director who made me pine for the incompetence of Fred Olen Ray.

* out of 4-(Bad)
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