I have this theory: This movie was made by... aliens. Aliens who have been observing and studying us since the dawn of mankind. And then, somewhere in the late 50's they made this movie to laugh at us and mock our mating rituals as well as our religious beliefs. This piece of drivel cannot have been made by us, humans. It's simply unthinkable. Several aspects of this movie have fed my suspicion. For one thing, the aliens clearly have their own techniques of developing pellicule. They call it "Pathecolor", as described in the movie's opening-credits. And until 1958 it was unseen by human eyes. You see, "Pathecolor" geniously messes up ALL color-patterns on the final print.
Then I"m also convinced that the aliens abducted some 50's femalien to do the voice-over for this movie (as she sounds totally spaced-out). I suspect they also used her voice to provide ALL the other actors and actresses with dubbed voices (adding some treble & bass tunes in post-production, as well as pitching her voice down a bit for male characters), as ALL cast members speak in this same monotonous type of voice.
Other forms of alien technology I seem to have spotted in this movie (And keep in mind that this movie takes place in the prehistoric age... Well, either that or in an alternate universe):
-- Automated menhirs which rotate sideways to provide hidden passages.
-- Synthetic, seemingly lifeless lizards used as an arm bracelet-like ornament.
-- An on-location set, probably build on some distant planet, featuring a prehistoric settlement on a beach, which strangely resembles a nowadays holiday resort somewhere on the Bahama's.
-- And talking parrots in the Stone-Age? That's gotta be alien technology too!
So what else do we have...? The Wongo tribe, featuring gorgeous-looking, scarcely clothed women and some dominating men. The Goona tribe, with damn ugly-looking women and gentle, respectful men. A Wongo High-Priestess/shape-shifting Goddess kinda babe. A great Godly Dragon that looks suspiciously enough like a blue (there you have it: "Pathecolor"!) crocodile made out of plastic. Suppposedly this movie also was to feature a tribe of vicious, warmongering Ape Men, but due to some strange, probably outer-space logic, we only get to see two of them, who even get ripped to shreds by some very green-looking ("Pathecolor" again) crocodile.
I also learned one or two things while watching this movie:
-- Women are foolish objects. You should treat them as such.
-- All women crave for sex. And sex back then was pretty much the same as now: First you kiss, then you do the bongo-bongo.
-- Pre-historic women wear make-up.
-- Pre-historic Ape-Men also wear make-up.
-- An angry fat woman screaming is the scariest sight to behold on the face of this earth.
The most amazing sequence of this movie is undoubtedly this one: All the women of Wongo reach ecstasy when the High-Priestess performs her pagan Dance of the Dragon-God. Then all the women join this hot and steamy dance-routine. While beholding this on-screen choreographic extravaganza, I was thinking that the director must have slipped a mixture of some LSD and amphetamines in the actresses's coffee... What else could bring them to giving such an amazing performance? And I'll be damned if it doesn't even get better after that. Afterwards all of them get completely naked and go skinny-dipping. Best way to cool off after some ecstatic dancing! But that's not all... Our blond cutie-pie leading lady even gets into some heavy underwater-wrestling with some real alive-looking, although clearly heavily drugged, alligator.
And then the ending... The final shots of the movie are simply UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE! All the couples start winking while looking STRAIGHT into the camera! And some of them aren't even very skilled at it, as they look like if some mentally challenged person (no offense, please) would try to pull it off! Unbelievable... And then there is one more final shot of that annoying talking parrot, and the movie ends... GRRRR... Will somebody please SHOOT THAT DAMNED PARROT! He lasts throughout the whole movie, gets way too much screen time, and at the end he STILL lives!
Aliens, man... I'm telling you: Aliens made this movie...
Oh well, whatever... This truly is an AMAZING piece of film. And the 50's were just WARPED! To some this will be insufferable crap, to others perhaps a hilarious masterpiece. But be cautious when going into this one... some male persons easily susceptible to brain-damage might end up repeating the line "Me man! Me want to bongo-bongo with Wongo women!" for the rest of their days (yes, including the whole drooling-part).
Then I"m also convinced that the aliens abducted some 50's femalien to do the voice-over for this movie (as she sounds totally spaced-out). I suspect they also used her voice to provide ALL the other actors and actresses with dubbed voices (adding some treble & bass tunes in post-production, as well as pitching her voice down a bit for male characters), as ALL cast members speak in this same monotonous type of voice.
Other forms of alien technology I seem to have spotted in this movie (And keep in mind that this movie takes place in the prehistoric age... Well, either that or in an alternate universe):
-- Automated menhirs which rotate sideways to provide hidden passages.
-- Synthetic, seemingly lifeless lizards used as an arm bracelet-like ornament.
-- An on-location set, probably build on some distant planet, featuring a prehistoric settlement on a beach, which strangely resembles a nowadays holiday resort somewhere on the Bahama's.
-- And talking parrots in the Stone-Age? That's gotta be alien technology too!
So what else do we have...? The Wongo tribe, featuring gorgeous-looking, scarcely clothed women and some dominating men. The Goona tribe, with damn ugly-looking women and gentle, respectful men. A Wongo High-Priestess/shape-shifting Goddess kinda babe. A great Godly Dragon that looks suspiciously enough like a blue (there you have it: "Pathecolor"!) crocodile made out of plastic. Suppposedly this movie also was to feature a tribe of vicious, warmongering Ape Men, but due to some strange, probably outer-space logic, we only get to see two of them, who even get ripped to shreds by some very green-looking ("Pathecolor" again) crocodile.
I also learned one or two things while watching this movie:
-- Women are foolish objects. You should treat them as such.
-- All women crave for sex. And sex back then was pretty much the same as now: First you kiss, then you do the bongo-bongo.
-- Pre-historic women wear make-up.
-- Pre-historic Ape-Men also wear make-up.
-- An angry fat woman screaming is the scariest sight to behold on the face of this earth.
The most amazing sequence of this movie is undoubtedly this one: All the women of Wongo reach ecstasy when the High-Priestess performs her pagan Dance of the Dragon-God. Then all the women join this hot and steamy dance-routine. While beholding this on-screen choreographic extravaganza, I was thinking that the director must have slipped a mixture of some LSD and amphetamines in the actresses's coffee... What else could bring them to giving such an amazing performance? And I'll be damned if it doesn't even get better after that. Afterwards all of them get completely naked and go skinny-dipping. Best way to cool off after some ecstatic dancing! But that's not all... Our blond cutie-pie leading lady even gets into some heavy underwater-wrestling with some real alive-looking, although clearly heavily drugged, alligator.
And then the ending... The final shots of the movie are simply UN-BE-LIE-VA-BLE! All the couples start winking while looking STRAIGHT into the camera! And some of them aren't even very skilled at it, as they look like if some mentally challenged person (no offense, please) would try to pull it off! Unbelievable... And then there is one more final shot of that annoying talking parrot, and the movie ends... GRRRR... Will somebody please SHOOT THAT DAMNED PARROT! He lasts throughout the whole movie, gets way too much screen time, and at the end he STILL lives!
Aliens, man... I'm telling you: Aliens made this movie...
Oh well, whatever... This truly is an AMAZING piece of film. And the 50's were just WARPED! To some this will be insufferable crap, to others perhaps a hilarious masterpiece. But be cautious when going into this one... some male persons easily susceptible to brain-damage might end up repeating the line "Me man! Me want to bongo-bongo with Wongo women!" for the rest of their days (yes, including the whole drooling-part).