Review of Poseidon

Poseidon (2006)
2/10
Race to the bottom of the sea
16 December 2006
Spectacular special effects! Completely forgettable characters! 100% unoriginal story! Big name actors sellout for a paycheck! (Even Richard Dreyfuss managed to be completely unconvincing.)

This film looks like a big-budget disaster. The actors and director do not seem to care, so why should the audience? "Rogue waves" are "rare and deadly", not to mention impossible and thoroughly unbelievable in deep water and clear weather. No wonder I have never heard of a cruise liner or any other large vessel capsizing in the open ocean.

This was a completely formulaic disaster movie indistinguishable from low-budget Irwin Allen wannabe crap except for the quality of the production values.

Even the digital animation looked fake in some places -- why not pan around a real Carnival liner with a helicopter? Fortunately I saw this on an airplane. Four yawns out of five. Beware -- you may fall asleep and drown in your own drool...
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