Holy ****, Batman! This perfectly squalid turkey strikes you with the pungent stench of death you should expect from Jessica Simpson, Sean William Scott, and Johnnie Knoxville (shudder....) Ol' Boss Hogg is at it again trying to turn Hazzard county into a coal mine, so it's up to the good ol' boys to beat his evil plans.
I never saw the show, so I guess my rage can't approach the righteous fury directed at this by fans of the longish-running show now playing on a perpetual loop on CMT. I just assume that's for the best: if I actually had a liking for the show prior to viewing this beast, my soul would be twisted beyond recognition by disgust. Everyone here just downright sucks at their performances. No need going into specifics, I just hated everyone and applauded whenever suffering befell them. I hated Jessica Simpson the most, and even though a red-blooded male like me thought she was pretty cute in a string bikini, such petty lascivious displays could not sway my convictions so easily. She....cannot....act....at all! The movie tries to be funny, but fails at it, mainly because the protagonists are so unlikable and are completely unbelievable as southern kids. The action sequences are weak, too few, and too far in between. This movie fails at everything and forever remains a wretched blight on the soul of humanity. That's all I'll say. I'm getting enraged just thinking about it.
I never saw the show, so I guess my rage can't approach the righteous fury directed at this by fans of the longish-running show now playing on a perpetual loop on CMT. I just assume that's for the best: if I actually had a liking for the show prior to viewing this beast, my soul would be twisted beyond recognition by disgust. Everyone here just downright sucks at their performances. No need going into specifics, I just hated everyone and applauded whenever suffering befell them. I hated Jessica Simpson the most, and even though a red-blooded male like me thought she was pretty cute in a string bikini, such petty lascivious displays could not sway my convictions so easily. She....cannot....act....at all! The movie tries to be funny, but fails at it, mainly because the protagonists are so unlikable and are completely unbelievable as southern kids. The action sequences are weak, too few, and too far in between. This movie fails at everything and forever remains a wretched blight on the soul of humanity. That's all I'll say. I'm getting enraged just thinking about it.