666: The Demon Child (2004 Video)
2/10
Demonic
3 October 2006
DEMON CHILD is a desert-based rehash of IT'S ALIVE, and all that's lacking is the presence of the legendary John P. Ryan to liven things up. Unfortunately, what we get are a half-dozen nonactors stumbling over their lines, and one of them is an aging mad scientist who mutters his lines in a whispery, unintelligible accent. These zany folks are traveling across a desert landscape when they encounter an old Indian and his giant egg. Guess what's in the egg. "It's a killer infink!" as Popeye might exclaim. This 2004 STV is badly photographed, lighted, directed, written and edited, but it is good for a couple of laughs. The demon child is actually an unclothed rubber doll with horns glued on. The actors have to hold the doll to them to simulate its attacks, and we never once see the doll do anything on its own. At one point, it races through the night, but what we get is the doll's blurry POV as it supposedly rapidly waddles across the terrain. And wait until you hear its growl. Another hilarious bit has to do with the camper the actors are traveling in. The driver drives in a very casual way, mostly looking away from the road as he yaks, and we never actually see the landscape moving around him. Plus every time we see the actors gathered in the camper, bright sunlight is pouring through the windows. But whenever they step outside, it is night time and they need flashlights. I got this beauty at Wal-Mart for $3.88 as part of an updated Halloween video collection. There were a dozen other titles all looking about as scary and professional as this one. Clearly, DEMON CHILD was someone's home movie, pure and simple. If only John Ryan had been available!
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