I rented this "movie" five months ago at my local video store and it still rates as the worst thing ever to enter my DVD player. Imagine my surprise (and secret pleasure) when today I saw that it is now an ex-rental sale at the store for a staggering $4 Australian. I took it to the counter and was told that most of the staff have taken the movie home and watched it for free but none of them were able to watch the movie in its entirety, it was THAT bad. I told him about the producers posting on IMDb and we had a laugh about it. He offered it free if I hired out an overnight movie, so I agreed.
I returned to the counter after picking out some other movies, collected my new prize possession and returned home. On the way, I thought about the different ways I could destroy the DVD - burn it, smash it with a hammer, axe it to pieces etc. I eventually decided to simply bury it. I knew the perfect place for it, a twenty foot cylindrical hole that was left behind when we removed our old bore-water pump (I'm in rural Australia folks). A perfect fit, Death Tunnel disappeared down its very own DVD Tunnel. As I was urinating into the hole, I realized I had made a huge mistake.
Now I've got a copy of Death Tunnel buried in my backyard, twenty feet down. Whereas before it was simply a movie I hated and tried to forget about, now its a movie I hate that I will never be able to be rid of. Its right there, in my backyard. Twenty feet down. Untouchable. Preserved. I stare at the spot every time I pass a window, like I murdered a person and secretly stashed the body out there. I've considered pouring petrol down the hole but I can't be sure if that will destroy it, I've considered firing up the tractor and excavating it like a madman on a mission. Damn you Death Tunnel, I should have just dropped you in the bin like the guy at the counter suggested.
I returned to the counter after picking out some other movies, collected my new prize possession and returned home. On the way, I thought about the different ways I could destroy the DVD - burn it, smash it with a hammer, axe it to pieces etc. I eventually decided to simply bury it. I knew the perfect place for it, a twenty foot cylindrical hole that was left behind when we removed our old bore-water pump (I'm in rural Australia folks). A perfect fit, Death Tunnel disappeared down its very own DVD Tunnel. As I was urinating into the hole, I realized I had made a huge mistake.
Now I've got a copy of Death Tunnel buried in my backyard, twenty feet down. Whereas before it was simply a movie I hated and tried to forget about, now its a movie I hate that I will never be able to be rid of. Its right there, in my backyard. Twenty feet down. Untouchable. Preserved. I stare at the spot every time I pass a window, like I murdered a person and secretly stashed the body out there. I've considered pouring petrol down the hole but I can't be sure if that will destroy it, I've considered firing up the tractor and excavating it like a madman on a mission. Damn you Death Tunnel, I should have just dropped you in the bin like the guy at the counter suggested.