Kolchak: The Night Stalker: The Youth Killer (1975)
Season 1, Episode 19
Stalking...Helen Of Troy???
10 June 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Young people in the pink of health are dying due to sudden accelerated aging.

Kolchak is intrigued by the case of a senior citizen who dropped dead while jogging- especially when it turns out the deceased was actually a young man whose body seemed to age decades over night.

As more young people in Chicago expire in the same mysterious manner, the only common link seems to be that each of them wore a particular ring, a gift from the computer dating service they were all registered with. After he gets one of these rings stuck on his own finger, Kolchak soon discovers what a pickle he's gotten himself into when the director of the dating service turns out to be the one and only Helen of Troy. Using these cursed rings to mark her victims for sacrifice, Helen is calling upon the Gods to drain her clients of their youth. As reward for these sacrifices, Helen's youth is restored to her..for a time.

When Kolchak enters her temple, he reveals to Helen that one of her clients had worn a glass eye, and since the Gods demand that the sacrifices made unto them be physically perfect, Helen is punished for this sacrilege by being turned to stone.

This is arguably the worst "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" episode. Even for a show devoted to plots with supernatural themes, the premise of this one sounds so ludicrous that it should have been dismissed outright (although, to be fair, "The Youth Killer" does have it's admirers among fans of the series).

Particularly disappointing: in an episode where effects are key to making the premise work, the low budget makeup work really lets this story down. For example, the first victim's rapid aging is poorly detailed in a series of dissolving shots of the actor in various stages of phony-looking old man makeup. Finally, to represent the last step in the character's accelerated aging, the guy playing the victim is suddenly and unconvincingly replaced by a much older actor.

Cathy Lee Crosby from the old "That's Incredible!" series brings the necessary physical attributes to the role of Helen of Troy, but as something to be dreaded she's neither frightening nor even interesting. Her character's true age is conveyed by gluing some phony-looking fleshy bags underneath her eyes. Also, at the scene of each death her character appears standing out in the open wearing an off-the-shoulder "Greek Goddess" gown and looking downright silly.

Kolchak getting the deadly ring stuck on his finger is a decent plot device, but the opportunities for creating some real suspense out of this situation are not effectively seized by the script, nor by the direction. Likewise, during the "thrilling" climax, the wrath of the Gods comes in the underwhelming form of some off-camera wind machines, a few claps of thunder and a lot of water from what may have been a fire sprinkler just above the camera raining down over poor Kathy Lee Crosby's head.

During his customary final word on each investigation, Kolchak would occasionally glance into the camera for a moment before the fadeout. In his summation for this one however, star Darren McGavin completely dismisses the "fourth wall" and looks directly into the lens for the entire monologue. This decision totally destroys any kind of feeling of reality that might have existed had they decided not to have been so casual in their approach to the scene. If "The Youth Killer" was meant to be purely comedic in content (and an out-and-out spoof episode might, indeed, have been interesting to see), then "The Youth Killer" is still a failure simply because it is not as funny as it needs to be in order to work.

The only saving grace comes in the form of the nice guest star work. John Feidler as mortician "Gordy The Ghoul", is very funny as he tries to shake Kolchak down for a new TV to brighten up the morgue; the likable George Savalas ("Stavros" from "Kojak") plays a taxi driver/expert on Greek mythology; and the woman who played the ruler-wielding nun in "Blues Brothers" is on hand as a matchmaker who's anxious to try and fix Carl up with a girl. In fact, finding Kolchak a girlfriend would have been a far more interesting story than the goofy one in this poorly conceived, badly executed episode.
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