tseybert Review of The Loves of Hercules

The Loves of Hercules (1960)

This movie is great! Not because it's good or anything ...

[10/10 · 13 May 2006]

I love Italian movies, and the sword-and-sandal epics constitute a very special subset of this, the greatest of all national cinemas. There is something hysterical or nonsensical going on every minute. Don't blink your eyes, or you'll miss Jayne Mansfield with PURPLE HAIR. AT HER Fiancée'S FUNERAL! Then there's the Hydra, with only three heads, that can barely move, and Mickey Hargitay (as Hercules, natch) has to run around like an idiot and pretend to be crushed under its foot. Then he gets rescued by cave-dwelling, bird-headed Amazons who turn men into trees ... for some reason. And if that doesn't do anything for you, wait until you see Bigfoot! Jayne Mansfield has huge breasts, though. And she's really pretty. So we forgive her. (Did anybody see "Primitive Love"? Now that's a cult movie!) This movie cracks me up, even more than "Hercules Against the Sons of the Sun." I have to give it a TEN!