First of all, I have to say that this was the best week-and-a-half of junior year health class I have ever been a part of. We were all on the floor in hysterics because of the sheer stupidity.
So, Hannah is a Good Girl. She plays the cello. She has two very good friends (one named Becca and one Dawn. I can't tell them apart except for one having really unattractive braces, and one having a slutty mom and fat younger sister), and they are all freshmen.
At this school, unlike most places I'm familiar with, the only way to be popular is to sleep around. The two blonde friends happily put out at parties and in cheap motel rooms (WITHOUT RUBBER GLOVES!), ostensibly because being blonde makes you a rampaging slut or something, leaving Hannah alone withher geeky (but adorable) photographer male friend. And her cello.
Nick, the really unattractive yet somehow popular boy, takes a liking to Hannah in all of her virginal, cello-playing glory. They go in his hot tub, and -GASP- he doesn't make a move on her! Later, they watch a movie, and he somehow convinces her to give him a blow job. I'm not quite sure, because he doesn't really say antything. I suppose his telepathic arguments were really convincing.
One of the slutty blonde girls soon goes to the school nurse because she has a sore in her mouth. What is it, you ask? Why, SYPHILIS! Yes, there is soon a massive outbreak of syphilis in the school, because apparently there are always high school parties with lots of unprotected sex. If anyone knows where these are, please let me know, as I have yet to see one.
Hannah finds out that she has syphilis, too, and informs her overprotective mother after she comes home drunk one night. Her mother decides that the only way to deal with this is to form a committee, and is upset when other parents aren't as gung-ho about committee forming.
Long story short? No one likes Hannah anymore and she whines about it to geeky-but-adorable-male-photographer-friend over an instant messenger where the screen names are the people's names and a few numbers. I think I recall 'grrl' being in one of them. She later sneaks over to his house, where he reveals a frighteningly stalkerish amount of pictures of her hanging everywhere.
Rather than running away, she leans over and kisses him. They proceed to make out, and she unbuttons her shirt (but is wearing a tank top underneath, because she's still good somewhere inside!). She straddles him, and goes for his pants, but is stopped by the Moral Speech of the Movie. Such gems as 'We have the rest of our lives to do this,' and 'We don't even know what we want!' are dropped. Hannah gets off of him and leaves, but not before screaming the best line of the movie: 'YOU JUST DON'T LOVE ME BECAUSE I HAVE SYPHILIS!' She goes to a party, where she is informed that one of her slutty blonde friends is in the basement. Some random sketchy guy proceeds to attempt to rape her, but fails when geeky-but-adorable-yet-prudish-male-photographer-friend-with-benefits steps out of the shadows, brandishing his CAMERA PHONE! He then utters the second-best line of the movie: 'If you don't stop, I'll send this picture straight to 9-1-1.' Because 9-1-1 has text messaging services.
The moral of the movie? Peer pressure gives you syphilis, and would-be rapists can be deterred by absolute nonsense. 8/10.
So, Hannah is a Good Girl. She plays the cello. She has two very good friends (one named Becca and one Dawn. I can't tell them apart except for one having really unattractive braces, and one having a slutty mom and fat younger sister), and they are all freshmen.
At this school, unlike most places I'm familiar with, the only way to be popular is to sleep around. The two blonde friends happily put out at parties and in cheap motel rooms (WITHOUT RUBBER GLOVES!), ostensibly because being blonde makes you a rampaging slut or something, leaving Hannah alone withher geeky (but adorable) photographer male friend. And her cello.
Nick, the really unattractive yet somehow popular boy, takes a liking to Hannah in all of her virginal, cello-playing glory. They go in his hot tub, and -GASP- he doesn't make a move on her! Later, they watch a movie, and he somehow convinces her to give him a blow job. I'm not quite sure, because he doesn't really say antything. I suppose his telepathic arguments were really convincing.
One of the slutty blonde girls soon goes to the school nurse because she has a sore in her mouth. What is it, you ask? Why, SYPHILIS! Yes, there is soon a massive outbreak of syphilis in the school, because apparently there are always high school parties with lots of unprotected sex. If anyone knows where these are, please let me know, as I have yet to see one.
Hannah finds out that she has syphilis, too, and informs her overprotective mother after she comes home drunk one night. Her mother decides that the only way to deal with this is to form a committee, and is upset when other parents aren't as gung-ho about committee forming.
Long story short? No one likes Hannah anymore and she whines about it to geeky-but-adorable-male-photographer-friend over an instant messenger where the screen names are the people's names and a few numbers. I think I recall 'grrl' being in one of them. She later sneaks over to his house, where he reveals a frighteningly stalkerish amount of pictures of her hanging everywhere.
Rather than running away, she leans over and kisses him. They proceed to make out, and she unbuttons her shirt (but is wearing a tank top underneath, because she's still good somewhere inside!). She straddles him, and goes for his pants, but is stopped by the Moral Speech of the Movie. Such gems as 'We have the rest of our lives to do this,' and 'We don't even know what we want!' are dropped. Hannah gets off of him and leaves, but not before screaming the best line of the movie: 'YOU JUST DON'T LOVE ME BECAUSE I HAVE SYPHILIS!' She goes to a party, where she is informed that one of her slutty blonde friends is in the basement. Some random sketchy guy proceeds to attempt to rape her, but fails when geeky-but-adorable-yet-prudish-male-photographer-friend-with-benefits steps out of the shadows, brandishing his CAMERA PHONE! He then utters the second-best line of the movie: 'If you don't stop, I'll send this picture straight to 9-1-1.' Because 9-1-1 has text messaging services.
The moral of the movie? Peer pressure gives you syphilis, and would-be rapists can be deterred by absolute nonsense. 8/10.