1/10
Mostly Unwatchable
25 January 2006
Rebecca: This is so bad it's almost good.

Enid: This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.

We rented this DVD shortly after Noble Willingham's death, thinking that we would watch it as a tribute. There were two problems with this idea. Noble's character gets killed off very early and the DVD was defective. It was missing the scene that explains what's going on. I have to assume that the handful of positive comments were from people who watched an obscure director's cut that had this explanatory scene.

But seriously, the writers of the screenplay were totally inexperienced (at screenplays) and the director was totally inexperienced (at writing screenplays and at directing screenplays), so the roadkill that resulted should be no surprise. Let this comment serve as a warning to potential viewers, just because a lot of actors who have performed in excellent films are part of this ensemble does not make it worth viewing. There are some decent performances but the whole is a lot less than the sum of its parts, which in fact adds up to less than zero.

Bizarre (in an uninteresting way), sadistic (in a vaguely boring way), foul-mouthed (in a grammar school way), half-baked (in a bad raw egg way), and disorganized (in a director should burn in hell way). It is mostly unwatchable, as even the isolated parts that could be entertaining are burdened with Yoakam and Bertheaud's comically false dialogue. Although this at least gives the production its only hint of unity and should dispel the temptation to blame the result on excessive improv.

Imagine inserting clips of "El Topo" in no logical order into "Tombstone" and you can approximate the product Yoakam inflicts on us unsuspecting Noble Willingham fans. He gave himself the lead role as Valentine Casey, a U.S. Marshall in 1907 Arizona. Casey's old gang and surrogate family keeps popping up and a lot of people are killed and Casey goes after them and eventually everything gets sorted out, although even after just watching the whole thing I couldn't have told you how. Don't understand why the gang keeps turning up or why the Marshall left them to become a lawman or why Pee Wee has put on so much weight. Don't really care either, I think we will just stick to "The Corndog Man" and the real "El Topo".

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.
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