Review of Seabo

Seabo (1978)
2/10
The HEAVEN'S GATE Of Prison Pictures???
14 December 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Contrary to common belief, some of Earl Owensby's pictures were released outside the Deep South. I actually enjoyed this on a double-bill with HOMETOWN USA when it hit the Hudson Valley drive-ins in 1979. In fact, I went back and saw it several times.

I saw it again recently--a good trick in itself, considering how rare the movie is--and now I wonder what I saw in it Back Then. Guess a 22-year-old gorehound will watch anything...

I distinctly remember that Owensby as the title character was lame, and that Don Red Barry was a great if apoplectic villain. I remember some striking North Carolina scenery, some good gore and shotgun killings and a massacre at the end.

Somehow, I forgot that the hero was a doofus and that most of the acting was horrible. Aside from Barry, Ed Parker as a sadistic chief guard is arguably the best actor here. David Allan Coe cackles his way through his part like a hyperactive hyena. I understand he did time in real life--for lousy ham acting and bad singing, by any chance? I also forgot the technical gaffes already mentioned by another writer. Worst of all I forgot the deadly 117 minute running time--way too long for a drive-in prison picture. The plot is standard--one of those hero-is-framed, suffers-in-prison, gets-out numbers which could have been covered in 90 minutes at the outside. In fact, while I'm usually against hacking films, I'd be curious to see if the 86-minute German release print is any better.

One thing keeps this bloated overlong flick from being the HEAVEN'S GATE of prison pictures--in between stretches of tedium, parts of it are PRETTY DARN FUNNY!!! One character goes to a brothel to HAVE BREAKFAST! I know the company there was more polite than the rude rubes at the local eatery but all I could say was Yeah, RIGHT!!! Another impossible situation: watch one geek swallow six bullets without choking. Watch other actors try not to choke on the insanely stupid dialog. Then there some lines that were stupid and funny on purpose--"The warden wants his car to shine like an old whore's nose!" being a prime example. And the finale is a real hoot, involving a gaggle of hit-men whose wardrobe looks like it came from a Goodwill box, or maybe a hobo jungle.

If this bad review has actually made you curious, I can tell you that a copy may surface on eBay if you troll for it long enough. Don't say I didn't warn you!
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