Cannibal Hookers (1987 Video)
1/10
More painful than taking a barb-wire suppository.
24 October 2005
I didn't think I'd ever hear myself say that I've seen something so bad that I'm permanently scarred, but this movie could be it. This makes Ed Wood's later films look genius. The whole premise is that these girls are rushing a sorority (forgiving the fact that they're in their early 30's) and told to pretend they're hookers for part of their initiation and some how get mixed up with a group of vampire hookers. I know, you're thinking "hey, that doesn't sound so bad," oh contraire mon frer. This the loose string that tries to hold the plot together (it's harder to find than a virgin in a maternity ward).

The film looks like it was made by a porn company trying to go legit. I think it was shot with a hand held video camera. The acting is wretched (the guy playing Lobo is a complete hack, who is only in the pic because he's the producer). The actresses are not that good looking and don't come close to playing a convincing performance. They even repeated a scene twice in a row (I kid you not, it cut from one scene back to the beginning of the same damn scene).

In sum, I would rather watch a performance of "Robot Monster" done by chimps than sit through this pile of dung again.
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