Kaal (2005)
2/10
Disaster!
4 May 2005
When you have a reputable banner, Dharma Productions, BIG stars-Shah Rukh Khan and Karan Johar, and a fantastic publicity campaign backing a film, you KNOW the movie will make money. The fantastic start that KAAL has got at the box office is obviously, no surprise. But, the movie, dear Dharma productions, is sad, bad and very boring.

The movie is about John Abraham, a tiger expert working for National Geographic, his photographer wife, Esha Deol who goto Orbit Park to unearth the secrets of man-eating tigers. Surprisingly, this happens without any information to the channel, and they just land up there and try explore. The story then brings in Vivek Oberoi, Lara Dutta and their two friends, all of whom are on vacation, and as their car breaks down, a sudden turn of events lands them at Orbit Park, and after they meet Abraham and Deol, the story moves on. They meet the tigers and Ajay Devgan later, and soon tragedies happen around them, and I wouldn't spoil that for anyone who'd want to see this ridiculous excuse of a movie, which has no narrative and pace.

Soham tries to make his audience THINK. Like Oberoi lighting the cigarette and Abraham making that scary face. Obviously, the audience add two and two and make i four, but Mr. Soham is no Hitchcock. Dude, when you throw in something confusing at least offer an explanation for it. THAT's what makes the movie interesting and adds repeat value. Remember when Kevin Spacey says "the greatest trick the devil ever pulled off was to convince the world that he did not exist" or when Haley Joel Osement says "I see dead people around...the big problem is they themselves do not know they're dead"...well, it all had a meaning! Oberoi saying "smoking kills" and then smoking, eeesh! Care to explain? There are a gazillion more loop holes! A lot of people have spoken about the 'mixed reactions' the movie as got. Heck, the movie has got bad reviews everywhere, except for from Mr. Taran Adarsh, leading trade analyst. And that makes me think, why and how. Quite simply, he is obsessed with everything Karan Johar and ShahRukh Khan do. And he has no qualms about it either. He'd even rate admittedly bad things from the Khan-Johar camp and make them sound good. So, when such a reputed analyst rates the film so highly, most of the audiences are given further incentive to go watch the film.

I remember when DHOOM released, Mr. Adarsh very categorically said that "after the initial hype, this movie will die down". Taran, DHOOM was still an entertainer. KAAL, to which you give 4 stars out of 5, is dull. You may love Johar and SRK, but call a spade a spade man! I'd give this movie a */***** and that too for the brilliant sound, and the very first item number on SRK and the hot hot Malaika. The movie is downhill from there. Of course, SRK and Johar would go laughing to the bank, but guys, please don't torture us like this anymore.
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