dingusamongus Review of Adult Video News Awards 2003

Adult Video News Awards 2003 (2003 Video)

Adult Video Stars do (not sexually tard!) Shakespeare and Win

[3 February 2005]

I'll be the first to admit to anyone, my mom included, that I enjoy porn - except to my girlfriend, to whom I will flatly deny porn's very existence. So imagine my surprise when i see a video document of an awards ceremony for porn actors and actresses! I'm embarrassed to realize how ignorant i am about how hard (lol) porn acting really is. I mean I really thought it was - drop trou, shake hands in a non-biblical way, sweat a little and whew, I'm spent. I'll be honest, I tried to fast-forward to all the naughty bits, but there really weren't any!? Oh sure there were a few boobage shots, but no real other action except for bouncing tas as the actresses ran up the stage to get their awards. I would also like to share my dissatisfaction by mentioning that there was no real award for best food fetish film, as i felt that the acting in "Bikini Clad Custard Pie Throwing Chicks 3" was particularly flawless and very believable. I'd like to add that these porn stars wear more and kiss less than stars at the Oscars...remember when Angelina Jolie french kissed her brother? Now that was hot! Sadly there was none of that kind of kinky action at the Adult Video News Awards. With all due respect to the hard (lol) working men, women and transgendered people in the Adult Video business, I think I will stick to watching the pervy Oscars in the future - they are way dirtier.