Soldier Boyz (1995)
1/10
Be afraid... be very afraid... to die of agitation or laughter.
26 January 2005
I have trouble even knowing where to start. Okay here's a first go at it: WHAT THE F#CK!?

Let me give you a summary of the concept of this movie: Punks, Vietnam... Vietnam bad, punks worse... Who win? I am about sure that was what the scenario-writer wrote down when he made up this movie, but then again he must've either been 11 or mildly-retarded.

NOW, For the fantastic summary of stuff that makes this movie completely non-sense:

A. Everyone seems to fire assault-rifles from the hip, Here's a tip: DON'T, you won't hit a squirrel even if it was attached to the barrel of your gun.

B. Many fire assault-rifles using one arm, trust me... that will strain, break or ripture stuff in reality after a while.

C.They fire a pistol holding the thing tilted to the side, you won't hit an elephant from a meter's distance doing that.

D. The rebel Vietnamese fight for the purpose of 'No Trading With Tha Baddie U.S. of A.' but somehow they acquired U.S. made Hummers-trucks and Huey helicopters, Santa must've been sweet to them!!

E. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, in this movie pulls a face when shooting as if someone said: "Here's a piece of concrete, eat it and then poop it out within now and 10 minutes or I will kill you with a fork." Can you imagine that look? Good... thats how they look.

F. When one of the 'Operatives' is fleeing over a piece of grassland, he gets shot at by about 15 Vietnamese. He gets hit and during this firefight, the bullets seem to make him lose at LEAST 10 liters of blood. ...funny how we used to learn that a human has only so little amount of blood in its body.

G. Why the hell are these American-criminals carrying AK-47's!? H. Since when do criminals make good soldiers?

I. Since when do criminals turn good for no particular reason? J. Since when do criminals all look 'good'?

Okay, I bet I've demotivated you to watch this movie, thats good! When should you watch this movie? You want to laugh, you want to be agitated, you're stoned. This must've been a made for TV-movie, right? Because everything about this movie is cheap and made without any motivation of making it work. Everything, from beginning to the end, is predictable. This movie is one hell of an insult to any Vietnam-veteran as well as any soldier in the world. Cheers for comparing the average soldier's-skill to that of an untrained criminal, they will appreciate it.

The only thing I liked about this movie? This girl named Vasquez or something... why? She made me think of the girl that I love.
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