Troll 2, Quickie Review (Edited from original review) This film is rated as one of the worst movies ever made on IMDb.com, and you know what? It got that rating for a damn good reason. ***SOME SPOILERS IN THIS ONE, BUT THEY WON'T HURT THIS FILM*** The movie follows a family that, for no apparent reason, is just "switching homes" with some hicks in some podunk town called "Nilbog" for a vacation. If that concept isn't weird enough, don't worry, the movie will quickly outshine that wet spot. Well, the town is infested with--you guessed it--goblins. What's that? You guessed trolls? Ha ha, sorry sucker, this movie is titled wrong--probably just to throw you off!! In fact, as the horrible little boy in the movie suffers the line, "Nil-bog isss Gob-lin... back-waa-ards!!" you begin to realize this the movie has a wealth of increasing crappiness yet to vomit your way. The goblins are immensely laughable, if not downright pathetic--they're midgets (oh, I'm sorry, not-tall people) dressed in what appear to be fire-damaged carpet with masks apparently crafted by the artful hands of Helen Keller. One of them has eyes the size of golf balls--and they never blink! On top of it, the "goblins" are vegetarians, so of course, in order to eat the visiting humans (in case you haven't guessed, the whole town is goblin-infested, like in "The Howling," but crappy), they--get ready--turn them into vegetables of some sort. The acting is gut-wrenchingly bad--the worst is the woman playing the Mom in the family, there is no atmosphere--it takes place under the terror of daylight, and well, there is but one entertaining thing in the whole movie: That classic scene where, haunted by the ghost of grandpa, the little boy pisses all over the family's dinner to prevent them from eating food that would vegetate them into Goblin-meal. No kidding. 1/10
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