Next Action Star (2004– )
Loser Parade
17 June 2004
So I've watched a few episodes of this now and I couldn't resist the urge to look up these judges, these pillars of talent who know the score and are using their boundless talent to pick the next action star... and look! They're losers.

One of our superlatively talented judges directed such feature film hits as Bats and Carnosaur 2. Are you kidding me? If I were an actor, I'd work with this man because you need to work to make a living. However, barring my abuse of very potent substances, I can't imagine ever relegating myself to a position where my talent would be judged and my future in the industry, as it were, would be in this man's inept hands. He badly directs bad movies, how does that qualify him to judge this competition?

But fear not, another judge produced such hits as Double Dragon and Fair Game. So he's basically as important in the movie biz as that first judge I mentioned. Are you impressed yet.

But I'm not done, how can we forget the biggest judge of all? Big time casting director Victoria Burrows. My, what a long and splendid resume she has. The LOTR trilogy is actually impressive...if impressive is a word you can use for a casting director's resume. Casting director is an important job. They have to talk to agents and tell them they need Hobbits and Gandalfs and then agree with agent decisions. It must have been hard for her to decide on Ian Mckellan.

But let's ignore her LOTR experience and focus on the rest of her career. Like Vampires: Los Muertos. or Max Keeble's Big Movie. Bordello of Blood. How the West Was Fun. And back in the day, Macgyver and 21 Jump Street. Ooh.

I suspect this was the best Joel Silver could get, which is tragic, sad and depressing. One thing I do notice though is that, between them all, these people have exactly no experience in good action. Barely any action at all, in fact, but none good.

If I were on Next Action Star, and thank God I'm not, I'd be offended beyond belief to have this group of people judge me. They are about as qualified as I am to judge this competition, since the only way these people know action is from watching it, which is what I do. This show wasn't good before, now I find it even worse knowing the "skills" of the people behind the scenes.
6 out of 10 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed