About 20 minutes into FANGS I was almost convinced that this film wasn't new, but actually some movie made in the 80s by NBC that they would have aired sometime around Halloween hyping it as "spooky fun for the whole family." I can't begin to fathom the sheer number of people who are going to be suckered into renting this on the basis of its box art alone. That box art makes the film look like it's about vicious little bats up to no good. It lies! This is not a jolly good fangfest! While it may be about killer bats, virtually everything actually involving the bats takes place off-screen. A more honest title for the movie would have been OFF-CAMERA BAT ATTACK! Instead we have a never-ending sea of cutesy one-liners that wouldn't even be considered witty enough to be used on HeeHaw! You almost anticipate these jokes to be immediately followed by a few chords of a piano to help punctuate that something amusing has just been said. MAMA'S FAMILY was a laugh riot compared to this movie. Heck, SCOOBY DOO has more suspense and on-screen mayhem in a single half hour episode than this atrocious movie does in it's entire running time. Just a total bore. BATS looks like JAWS by comparison!
There's no gore, no on-screen deaths, no profanity, no sex, no nudity, no cleavage, and no kissing because, as it turns out, FANGS was really supposed to be wholesome family entertainment about a lunatic who uses vicious bats to savagely maul people to death! That concept alone is an oxymoron. I got a family value the producers at Porchlight Entertainment need, it's called shame!
FANGS isn't even so bad it's good. It's so bad it's worse!
There's no gore, no on-screen deaths, no profanity, no sex, no nudity, no cleavage, and no kissing because, as it turns out, FANGS was really supposed to be wholesome family entertainment about a lunatic who uses vicious bats to savagely maul people to death! That concept alone is an oxymoron. I got a family value the producers at Porchlight Entertainment need, it's called shame!
FANGS isn't even so bad it's good. It's so bad it's worse!